Never feel alone

Chapter 28

Lena (one month later)

Isn't it funny how the days we look forward to; Christmas, for instance, or the last day of school, seem to come so slowly. But the days we dread arrive before we know it? I remembered looking forward to things as a little girl. My father would always tell me 'be patient, the anticipation is half the fun.' And he was right. Once the big day finally arrived, it was over. No more waiting. But sometimes, you just wish for time to stand still...

A month had passed in the blink of an eye. The next day was Sophia's court date. It hung over us like a storm cloud.

"Mama?"

I was pulled from my thoughts by Sophia's voice. I dried my soapy wet hands on a dish towel. "Hi, baby. Do you want to help me finish the dishes?" When I turned around, I frowned. She was so pale. "Honey, are you okay?"

"I got sick," she said, holding her stomach. "I don't feel good."

Oh, honey," I sighed. "Mama's here." I went over to her and kissed her cool forehead, checking for a fever. "You're not warm, baby. Is it just your tummy?"

She nodded. "I made a mess in the bathroom. I didn't get there in time. I'm sorry." Her brown eyes welled with tears that spilled down her cheeks.

"It's okay, Soph," I said, gathering her in my arms. "It was an accident. Mama will clean it up."

She hiccuped, burying her face in my chest, and I hugged her closer. Maybe I babied Sophia, but I didn't care. I think that from the beginning, Stef and I realized that Sophia and Callie were kids who needed extra love; love that we were more than happy to give. I took her hands in front of me, holding them tight. "Hey, why don't you sit down at the table and drink some ginger ale, I'll go clean up the mess, and then you and I can have some snuggle time. How does that sound?"

"Good," she sniffled.

"Okay," I nodded. I poured her a drink, then went up to the kids' bathroom. When I returned, Sophia and I settled on the couch.

"Mama?" she said, looking up at me.

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm probably too sick to go to court tomorrow. Maybe we should cancel it?"

I hid a smile against her hair. "Honey, are you sure the reason you're sick isn't just because you're nervous about the trial?"

She shrugged.

"It's okay to be nervous, peanut," I told her. "Anyone would be. But won't it feel good once this is all over and done with, and you can just be a normal little girl?"

"Yes," she said. "But I'm scared. I have all these thoughts running through my head, and I can't make them stop."

I leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Which thought is bothering you right this second?"

She was quiet for a long moment. "That this might be my last snuggle time with you." A single tear dripped off the tip of her nose.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to cry myself, but in the end, I couldn't fight it. "Baby... don't think like that," I whispered. "You're not going anywhere, and neither am I. There's going to be lots more snuggles with me. You'll see."

"If I go to jail," she said seriously, "promise you won't put Callie back in the system. Please? I don't want anyone to hurt her again. She needs you and mom." Her dark eyes were wide; she watched me with a wisdom that was older than her twelve years. Older than me.

"Sophia." I turned her around to face me. "Mommy and I would never ever put you or Callie back in the system, no matter what happens. I don't want you to ever worry about that, baby. We're your family, and we love you. Okay?"