Never feel alone

Chapter 38

Callie

I could hear Brian's heavy footsteps coming toward my bedroom door, and I covered my head with the blanket. A sliver of light filled the room as he burst in, and came toward me. Laying as still as possible, I pretended to be asleep, while my heart raced in my chest. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of bed. "Get up, you fucking whore!" He screamed. Even in the dark, I could see the hate in his eyes.

"What did I do?" I cried, standing on my knees on the cold floor, utterly confused.

"Shut up, you little bitch!" He jerked me to my feet and shook me hard, screaming at me, hurting my arms. He was drunk; his breath smelled like sour beer. I closed my eyes, cringing as he raised his hand to hit me. I felt him slap me across the face, and my cheek stung. My hand immediately flew to where I'd been struck, and I felt hot, sticky tears on my face.

"Callie!"

I opened my eyes, gasping for breath. Somehow I'd gotten off the floor and onto my bed. Sophia sat next to me in the dark. She was crying too; I figured Brian's shouting must have woken her. I could see her wet eyes shining in the moonlight.

I sat up. "What's happening?" My heart was pounding so hard I was sure she could hear it too. I looked around in the dark corners for Brian, remembering the fear I'd felt just seconds ago that had seemed so real. As my eyes slowly adjusted to the light, I could see that he wasn't there. He never had been; he was dead. But my cheek still burned where he'd slapped me.

My little sister threw her arms around me and hugged me hard. "I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I didn't know what else to do. You wouldn't wake up."

"What?" I drew the thin blanket around me, shuddering.

"You were having a nightmare," she said softly. "You were crying and stuff. I tried shaking you, but you wouldn't wake up. So I hit you. I'm sorry, sissy."

Finally starting to piece together what had happened, remembering where we were, I drew Sophia closer, wrapping the blanket around both of us. "It's okay," I said quietly, listening for any signs that we'd woken Helen up. But the house was silent. "You only did what I asked you to do."

"You're not mad?" she asked, looking up from where her head rested against my chest.

I shook my head no. "I'm proud of you, baby. I told you to wake me up, and you did. Besides, you didn't hit me very hard." I kissed her forehead and lay back, pulling her down with me. "It's okay now. Go back to sleep."

She cuddled against me and closed her eyes. I lay awake, longing for Stef to comfort me. But she was home, and I was here, and I couldn't be the kid right now. I had to be the parent again, for Sophia.

I couldn't remember when I'd fallen asleep after that. But I must have, at least for a little while, because one minute, I was laying in the pitch black room, missing home and watching over Sophia, and the next, pale sunlight was filtering through the bars on the bedroom window.

I looked around, groggy and confused. Sophia was curled up next to me, the scratchy sheet wrapped around her legs. I glanced at the clock radio on the nightstand. It was five forty-five. I had to pee badly, but I didn't want to wake my sister, and I certainly didn't want to knock on the wall for Helen to get up. I wasn't sure why I felt so strongly about the knocking thing. I guess it was just a pride thing; I wanted to preserve some of our dignity.

"Callie?" Sophia rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stretched.

"Good morning," I said, managing to smile a little.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "I guess so."

She snuggled closer to me. "I was really scared last night."