Never feel alone

Chapter 30

Callie (a few days later)

"Callie, why don't you tell me about the panic attack you had the day of the trial?" Rita asked me from her desk chair.

I flinched, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and shame. "Do I have to?" I wondered how she even knew about it, but I figured Stef or Lena must have told her.

"Well, you don't have to," Rita said. "I wont force you. But I'd like to understand what happened."

I sighed, picking lint from Rita's couch. "I just got scared. I freaked out."

"Okay," Rita nodded. "What did the panic attack feel like? Can you describe it?"

I sighed. My hands suddenly felt shaky. "It felt like I couldn't breath, like there was something heavy on my chest. My throat was tight, and my legs felt like jelly. And I felt hot all over."

Rita nodded again. "What did it feel like in your head? What were you thinking?"

I thought her question over for a moment. "I don't remember."

"Just do the best you can," Rita said. She took a piece of cinnamon gum from a pack on her desk, then held out the pack to me. "Want a piece?"

"Thanks." I took a piece and chewed it, and the hot-sweet taste filled my mouth. "I felt... it's hard to describe. I guess, like I didn't have control over anything. Like I was in a nightmare. Sort of." I felt tears prick my eyes, and I tried to squeeze them back in.

"Feeling out of control can be scary," Rita nodded, scribbling something in her notebook. "I bet you felt the same way the night Brian was killed."

"Yeah," I nodded. "I guess so."

"How did you come down from the panic attack?" she asked me. "How long did it take?"

"Ten or fifteen minutes," I shrugged. "Stef... mom... helped me. She washed my face and talked to me. She hugged me and told me to breath."

"That's very good," said Rita. "She did the right thing." She glanced up at her clock. "Okay, honey. Your time's up. Do you have any questions for me?"

"No," I said.

"Then we'll talk more about this next week," she said. "Come on. I'll walk you out. I need to talk to your mom for a minute."

Stef

"I win again," said Sophia, smiling triumphantly.

"You're way to smart for this old lady," I laughed, ruffling her hair. We'd been playing Candy Crush together in the waiting room, while we waited for Callie to be done with her appointment with Rita.

Sophia handed me my phone, and I started my turn, just as Rita and Callie emerged from Rita's office."Mrs. Foster?" Rita asked. "I'd like to speak to you if you have a minute."

"Of course," I said. I passed my phone back to Sophia. "You know what, love? You play this round for me, okay?"

"Okay," she said.

I stood up, and crossed the room. Callie's face was pale, and her eyes were red. I reached out and gave her a quick squeeze. "I'll be right out, love. Go ahead and sit down." I pressed a kiss to the side of her head before she could walk away.

"Is everything okay?" I asked Rita, as she ushered me into her office. I took a seat, crossing my legs in front of me.

"Everything is fine," she assured me. "It's been a pleasure getting to know Callie and Sophia. I just wanted to let you know that based on what I've observed of them, and what they've told me, I feel like I can safely diagnose the girls with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder."