Its just a secret little habit i have.
I dont cut anywhere as deeply as i used to
And i havent taken a blade to my thigh in ages
But the feeling of it as it scratches my skin
(Even if it isnt as hard as it needs to be to pierce it)
Theres something calming about it
Something so easily distracting from the pain i feel in my chest
Its like these habits i have of starving myself when im upset
When i smoke to feel happy or eat something for once
These habits could kill me and im fucking terrified that you would be the one to find me.
Im terrified these habits are the closest thing to happiness ill find.
Im trying, ill try
Im sorry i couldnt make it in this life
