its so easy to slip back into old habits
to snort a line
to pop a pill
it is so easy to pull that blue bag from its spot on the top shelf in my closet
to reach for the blade that's inside
to lose myself in your eyes.
its so easy to let the vices do the talking
but I realize I was in a really bad place.
I didn't recognize myself in the mirror
though she wore the same face.
her eyes were dull and the spark had went away
she became what she always swore she'd hate
I fucked up back then
but I wont fuck up today
I'll put my vices away
keep them locked in a box
and give the keys away
these realizations stare me in the face
but even as I have my bad days
I can't bring myself to slip back into my old ways
not completely
a little here
a little there
a little wont matter
no one will notice because they wont care
i'm tired of sitting down while I shower
because it takes too much effort to wash my hair
all I have is myself
but I don't know if it's the version of me I've grown to hate
