Everything in my life was perfect, every aspect dotted out on my checklist to my future. Summer School extra credit, Check. Graduate at the top of my classes, pending. Get accepted into Standford's medical program. It was all lined out, I knew what...
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I sat in the guidance counselors office for the second time this week. Ms. Morrell has been trying to get me to talk since our last session but I refused. I didn't want to talk about one of the worst experiences I'd ever lived through. Looking in the mirror was torture enough.
My neck was still encased in a deep purple bruise that I didn't see going away anytime soon. Every time I looked at it I could feel the ache in my lungs as they begged for air. I'd been avoiding mirrors for the time being.
"Victoria, how are you doing?" She asked in her usual, overly calm voice.
I sighed, "I'm great. Can I go now?"
Morrell sighed, "we still have 28 minutes." When I didn't respond she took a breath and spoke again, "we don't have to talk about what happened. Why don't we talk about your relationships?"
I could tell she was trying and, well, I knew I'd be required to come here until I was deemed 'okay.' We all were. Scott and Stiles had both had a session now, I'm the only one that's needed two. I think it's because I refuse to talk.
"Well, dad got reinstated as Sheriff, so that's great. He's been kind of weird at home though, treating me like I'm made of glass." I spaced out slightly, staring at the wood grain on her desk so I could pretend I was writing in a diary instead of talking to someone I barely knew. "And I catch him, sometimes, staring at me... like he can't believe I'm here?"
"It sounds like he's going through some stuff himself. See you and your brother in a dangerous situation must've been hard on him. Especially after losing your mom a few years ago, it probably opened up those wounds for him."
I nodded, okay maybe she knew what she was talking about a little bit. "Stiles is good. He's just been overly clingy since the whole thing. Like, at school he won't leave my side and at home he's constantly checking in on me.... And it's weird because at the start of the school year he was completely ignoring me, I know he had his reasons, but it's weird having him back to being the over protective brother again."
"Why do you think he's acting like that?"
"Probably the same reason as dad... I mean, they all saw me with a gun to my head, I don't think that was an easy thing to witness," I scoffed. I could feel tears burn my eyes as the words left me.
She nodded at me, "no, it wouldn't be. How did it feel to experience that?"
"Fucking terrifying," I said easily. I knew we were now talking about the very thing she said we wouldn't, but I didn't care. I had to get it out. "I thought--"
A lone tear fell from my eye and I was quick to wipe it away, "I thought I was going to die. I thought we were all going to die. And I thought he would kill me in front of my dad and Stiles and Scott... and I didn't want them to have to see that but, a part of me... a very selfish part-- wanted to die before they did. I thought to myself, if were all dying, please let me be first. How messed up is that?"
