Broken Lies | 18+

[𝟏𝟒] 𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊

What is fear?

'Fear' is a feeling or emotion which is caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.

But what IS it? why does your body freeze, your heart starts to race, and you start to hyperventilate and sweat? what causes that?

I think there's something in your brain that is physically telling you that you're in danger, or you're going to die. Your brain sends a signal to your body, hoping you would react, but instead, your muscles go against you and tighten up.

I've only ever felt that once.

I was 9, walking through the park with a chocolate bar in my hand, happy as can be. A man walked up to me and told me that I was pretty for my age and that he couldn't imagine what I would look like when I got older. He reached out and touched my hair, pulling it hard, "How old are you?" he asked me, but I didn't reply, I wasn't supposed to talk to strangers. He got impatient and slapped me, calling me stupid and mute.

The man grabbed me, pulling me to his car, he picked me up, and that's when my brain started sending signals to my body, "Fight, Aurora, don't let him get away with this." I started to sweat; my heart jumped in my chest. But my body didn't tighten up, instead, I bit him, hard. He screamed bloody murder like a damn baby, and dropped me, running to his car and driving away.

I didn't tell anyone what happened, why would I? I was fine.

I felt good, like, really good.

It wasn't till I got older that I realized I shouldn't have felt good, I should've been scared, and I should've wanted my mommy to hold me. I realized that I wasn't right in the head, I was different, sick even.

Since I came to the realization, I haven't tried to hide it. I liked seeing people who hurt other people, in pain, dying even. but I do know that my actions aren't justified, I know I shouldn't have killed people, I know I'm sick and twisted. that's why I got sent away after all, I wasn't a good person, I knew that, I'm aware now.

I deserve to be locked in a cage like an animal because I am one. I act on impulse, causing destruction everywhere I go. I used to call myself a tsunami, it builds and builds until it lets go, ruining everything in its path, that's me.

But right now, in the back of this stranger's car, I feel fear again, I fear that I might not make it through this time because, he will probably kill me, but I'm okay with that. I don't deserve to be on this earth, and when he decides to kill me, I won't fight, I have no energy left to fight for a life I never wanted in the first place.

I just hope that Enzo forgives me for not fighting back, I hope he forgets me and lives his life happily. he deserves to be happy, just not with me. I don't deserve the effort or the love, I am a monster, I am a tsunami, I am sick.

Forget me.

—❦—

Hi, this is just a "thought" chapter as I like to call it, just a little insight into Aurora's head while she's unconscious. I will be uploading the next chapter tomorrow! Love you!! ✫ (please correct me on any spelling or grammar errors)