Onika's Anatomy

Beautiful Nightmare

Beyoncé POV

Two weeks later

"You can at least smile..." I sadly said looking across the table at Blue.

She rolled her eyes pushing away her favorite Italian ice cream. This was the first time I've seen my child since she up and left my ass. I've been begging and pleading with her for the past two weeks for us to talk, and suddenly when I had the opportunity, I didn't know what to say.

"When did you get your period?"

She rolled her eyes again; it took everything in me not to knock her into tomorrow. But I had to understand she had every right to feel how she felt against me.

"A few days after my birthday..." She trailed off.

"Oh..." I tried recalling that time frame but couldn't remember her mood or if I had seen any changes in her behavior. Or maybe I was such a horrible mom I couldn't even tell the difference. Sitting across the table looking at her, I could tell that she had gone through puberty. And I couldn't believe it took her breaking down for me to realize that.

"Blue, I want to talk to you about something, it's very imperative that I do. It's probably late but--"

She cut me off. "Don't tell me you're trying to have the birds and the bees' conversation with me." She rolled her eyes again.

I cut my eyes at her. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to have. What's wrong with it?"

"Mom you're so lated— If it wasn't for Aunt Solo, I wouldn't even know how to put a pad on correctly."

"Wait Solange knew?" Now I was aggravated.

"Uhhh— yea she's easy to talk to. And always available for me to talk to her, unlike you."

I went silent for a moment, that comment jabbed my heart. I shook my head sitting closer to her.

"Blue— I uhhh never had a period. So I never really had these conversations with my mom about it. I went through puberty though. So, I know how confusing it can be when your body starts changing. And I just want to apologize for my absence during that time for you...."

"Wait why you never had period?" She looked confused, which confused me.

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"I was born with a penis..." I quickly said, I've never been embarrassed to say that since I was in school.

"Wait what? That's so cool can I see??" Blue said reaching for my crotch.

"Hold on patna'-." I grabbed her hand midway.

"But why do you look like girl? You have boobs, you have a big butt? So, you're a boy?"

"No I'm not a male and identify as a woman."

She went silent for a minute in deep thought. "That's why when I went searching for a dildo in your room never found one." She half joked.

That through me for a loop and made me angry at the same time. "Why the fuck are you searching for a dildo for?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno' I became curious. We learned about it in sex education classes."

I side eyed her. "Blue Ivy Knowles are you having sex? Or thinking about having sex."

Her face dropped. "Noooooooo!"

"You better not be- because I'd take you to a gynecologist and find out."

"Of course, you would." She huffed.