Paradise on earth

20. The Coastal Venture

The heat in the torture chamber was going to make you stab somebody. You've never felt this suffocated before.

"Let's address the elephant in the room," John B announces and focuses his attention on you, "Y/n."

"Are you fat shaming me, JB?"

He narrows his eyes at you, "You know what I mean."

"Is this even an appropriate time to be talking about this?" You wonder aloud. He couldn't seriously expect to get into this right now, you hadn't even found a way to leave this hell hole without getting caught by the crew members and now, he wanted to talk about your controversial sex life.

"Uh, yeah, 'cause if I have to keep thinking about what Sarah might be going through right now, I'm gonna go crazy."

You brace yourself for the worst, "Oh God."

He doesn't say anything, he stays in his position on top of a stretch-wrapped box. "So?"

You glance to the side and back at him, "So, what?"

"We're waiting," He extends his arms outward to gesture to the crowded area of your friends. Kie took off her jacket and let out a breath, Pope was leaning his head against other containers listening.

"I don't know what you want me to tell you, I've already apologized. Not that that fixes anything or takes anything back."

"Yeah, you're right," Pope said. "What's done is done, we have much bigger things to worry about but since we're getting into it; I just wanna know what your thought process was-"

John B cut him off, "Or whatever the opposite of that is 'cause you obviously weren't thinking clearly."

"Alright, you know what, no." You got up from where you were sitting cross-legged on the bottom of the container. "I wasn't thinking and at that moment I didn't regret it because he cared about me, I'm not going to go into detail about how or what he made me believe about him 'cause I obviously didn't know him as well as I thought..."

"So he manipulated you?" Pope asked.

"No, not entirely," You risked a quick glance at JJ whose gaze averted from your own. "He made me feel like he cared, I was hurt and felt neglected. I've always been a part of the Pogues but it always felt like I'm just John B's sister to you guys like I'm only along for the ride. I don't have much to offer the group, Rafe made me feel seen as ironic as that is."

"That's some bullshit, Y/n," John B scoffed.

JJ steps forward, "John B."

John B stares at JJ with pure annoyance, "I don't see how you're not losing your shit over this, you're always going on about how she's like a sister to you, this is some high-level offensive shit and you're all chill?"

"She was right," JJ shook his head. "This isn't the time, alright? We gotta figure out how the hell we're gonna get out of this, you know these things lock from the outside? This is your  fault and now we're trapped in this death cage!"

"JJ, you're not helping," Pope was breathless as he spoke. All you knew was that there was not enough oxygen coming in to be wasting our breath on arguing.

"You don't have enough room to talk right now, Pope, you said you had a plan, but what happened to thinking ahead?"

"I find your lack of self-knowledge disturbing."

JJ laughs sarcastically, "Last I checked, you literally shot an oil container with the gat, remember that?"

"Oh my God, Shut up!" Kie who was perched on the highest stacked container, stretched her foot slamming it between the two boys against the other box parallel to hers. "Shut up! Pull it together."