Appeased

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Sica's POV

Di na lang ako nagsalita at baka sasabog na ulo ko sa inis at hiya.

"Where you going?"

"Alam mo Arsen, let's call it a day. Maybe... We should at least sleep this over kasi marami na ata tayong nainom.. You know?"

"I wanna talk to you, please." mahinahon niyang sabi. "I waited for them to pass out just to have a time with you right now so please don't give it a waste"

A..ano? Hinintay niya talagang makatulog tong mga to?

"But... Why?"

"Do you really have to ask that? As much as I have time kahit isang segundo lang susulitin ko. Kahit pa di kita titigan madinig lang kitang magsalita masaya na ako. I.. Just missed you to the extent na kahit napakalaki nang galit mo sakin as long as you are nearby, you always makes me palpitate like I overdosed caffeine. You just... Don't understand.." nanginginig niyang sabi.

I just can't compose myself anymore after I heard that. Paano ko ba siya kakausapin ngayon eh kahit pala paghinga ko binibilang niya? Not cringe but kinda awkward.

"Kaya ang swerte ni Cley. How could he.. Act so chill and fine when you're with him. I bet he can't count how many times he felt being in a cloud everytime he talks to you, you cling with him..."

"It's probably not what he felt"

"Why not? We're both obssessed.. It's just that with me, I can't fake it"

Napalunok laway na lang talaga ako. Pwde bang mag teleport ako now na? Magkaka aneurysm pa ata lahat nang ugat ko sa katawan neto eh.

"You're drunk, Arsen" wala na ata akong maibabato pang salita sa kanya. Lol.

"How many vodkas you need until I saw you cry everytime you have a drinking session without me?"

What the? ANO? ANO? ANO? SAN MO NAMAN MASAGAP ANG CHISMIS NA YAN?

I smirked and acted cool as much as I can. Bwesit alam niya na pala. Isa rin ba yan sa hinihintay niyang mangyari ngayon? Lol you wish.

"I'm sorry but... I don't remember that ever happened. Ha ha... Baka nga sa sobrang lasing ko na but if you asked, it doesn't have any sense reason."

"Really? I thought you're waiting for me to comeback"

How could you..... Be so proud saying that, like it is something for you to drag about. Kung alam mo lang, Arsen. How I tried to stop the crying. Kahit sabihin kong di ako iiyak pero di ko magawa then ngayon parang ang kapal pa nang mukha mong ipamukha sakin na pinagmamalaki mo sa sarili mong dahil ikaw yun? Minsan *sniff* I am just making an excuse that it's just the alcohol in system but the truth is, gusto ko lang malabas ang bigat na dinadala ko. I just can't even think what to do para maibsan yun *sniff* pero wala, kahit pag iyak ko wala man lang naitulong. Bwesit..

I wiped the tears that starting to fall both my cheeks. Ang sarap mong sampalin, suntukin.

"Fuck you, Arsen" I started sobbing like ang angru child again. Here we go, but at least this time. He is here now, di ba, Sica? It is your defense mechanism that maybe you being hurt will make a way for him to comeback because you think you deserve it?

"*chuckles softly* so the humors are true." he slowly drag me and hugged me tight.

"You manipulative bastard. How can you *sobs* deserve each tear from me *sobs*" I punched his chest yet he managed to hold both my hands and hugged me again.

"I know. I don't deserve any of it. If I only just I knew, sana pala hinanap agad kita. It pains me to know for almost two years you are like this. I'm sorry. I'm back now baby, I'm back"

He untangled his arms around me and wiped my tears. Looking at his eyes gave me a full relief. Akala ko hanggang sa pag papantasya lang lahat to. My expectations are exceeded that even now, di ko maisip na mangyayari to. I was just dreaming for him to comeback alive but right now, I am now in his arms. Comforting me in his best ways.

"Forgive me, please?"

"Why should I forgive a fuckboy like you? You never changed, Arsen" mejo napalakas ang bosis kaya natakot ako nang gumalaw si Cley pero buti na lang di siya nagising. Bigla na lang akong hinigit ni Arsen paalis dun at dinala ako sa labas nang bahay malapit sa dagat.

"Ano ba bitawan mo nga ako. Bakit tayo nandito sa labas ang dilim dilim dito?" kibit balikat kong tanong "takot kang madinig tayo ni, Gelo?"

"N..no. Baka magising pa si Cley di na tayo makapag-usap nang maayos" talaga lang ha. Lol. "Let me explain"

"Explain? Explain you are fuck buddies and then trying to cling on me?"

"Let me speak, please. After you left me, I didn't even expect to live... I was in coma for how many months and when I woke up, half a year passed"

Sobrang nabigla ako nang madinig yun. Anim na buwan siyang comatose?

"It was hard to recover physically.. And emotionally. I was about to give up yet I made it. Di ko alam kung saan ko kayo hahanapin and.. Of course habang tumatagal, narealize ko na baka you guys already moved on. I am actually expecting that... Baka nga kayo na na ni Cley eh, or else you are with someone else making you happy.. It's driving me mad, getting jealous kahit wala naman akong alam pero kung magiging masaya ka naman why not letting you go instead. Iniisip ko, kahit na magkita tayo ulit, It's not me, you'll end up with then. Kaya I decided to escalate things quickly, baka kung may makilala ako, makakalimutan kita"

I rolled my eyes for some unknown reason and I started to felt emotional again.

"Okay... I see. So I am the intruder here ha ha"

"Stop, you're not" he held my hand and push him.

"Ano ba wag mo kong hawakan. If that's what you are saying then I can see it's effective. *smiles*" tinalikuran ko siya but he drag me back.

"I tried, Xhesica, I tried. Please believe me. I might did it wrong to use her pero.. Wala. Ikaw lang talaga. Lage kong iniisip na sana masaya ka na pero, I still truly prayed na sana ako na lang. Kahit.. *pants* Imposibleng mangyari dahil never mo naman akong minahal.. *sniff*"

He started sobbing at nakayuko lang. The waves are the only sound we can hear that syncs both our breathe and heartbeat.

"Lage ka na lang nahihiwalay sakin.. *panting* and everytime I see you back, the more you're around, it pains me so bad. I should not ask why *chuckles* I abducted you at the first place, next you hate me, and most of all you like, Cley than me.. But still, as I said as long as you are near, it makes me happy."

"You're right.. I hate you" I hate you for making me wait, I hate you for not coming with me edi sana di na ako nagsayang pa kakaantay nang mahigit dalawang taon, I hate you for making me feel dumb, I hate you for making me a fool again.

"*scoffs* sorry. I am.. Terribly sorry" his hands are shaking again as his tears starts to fall so fast just like how you watch how fast a rain falls dripping from a roof.

"Y..yeah, I'm okay... Kahit anjan ka lang masaya na ako *sniff* I know you hate me, it's.. It's fine. Sanay na ako."

My heart dropped as he knelt down on his knee. He sat properly on the sand at nakayuko na lang sabay sandal ang ulo sa mga tuhod nito. What did I do?

"Why, why why." he muffled as he pull his hair.

"Arsen, stop"

"Why why" *slaps, punches face*
"She hates me, she hates... She said it"

"Tama na!" sigaw ko. Bakit niya ba sinasaktan sarili niya nababaliw na ba siya? "Mahal kita, Arsen. Mahal na mahal kita"

Dahan dahan niyang inangat ang ulo niya as he cried hysterically.

"You hate me"

"I love you."

"You're lying"

"I love you so much" diin kong sabi. I jumped unto him and kissed him torridly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and caress his hair to calm him down. I don't care about Angelou, you are mine Arsen. I've heard enough and there is no more reason to deny it. I acknowledged you being my property.

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