THE ANXIETIES THAT TAUGHT ME (A SELF HELP BOOK)

ANXIETY IX - PANORAMA

I see wind blowing the tree;
What a serene scenery, but my mind opposes it.
I am relapsing these days, where the pain in the past comes like they're celebrating jubilee.
Nightmares come again, where I see myself with him, breaking my core up to external that conduit.

I was happy a while ago, why did the mood change so fast?
Is it because of the sudden pardon of the pains that he left?
Here I am again, bewildered by the possibilities I let to flee and bypassed.
Every time I went into this hell, I felt the ocean drown me and I am now in depth.

I will go to Chronos and tell him to stop running back that everlast.
I will beg to Athena to kill Zeus to rule my Olympus, even if it sounds bereft.
I will ask Aries to stop the war inside me, and kill Eros for me, even if it means my downcast.
I will fume to Poseidon to lift me up in the depth of the ocean even if he'll be in seethe.

I am sitting, looking at this non-belligerent panorama,
Regretting about my past, thinking of him again.
I'm still weak for thinking about him, but at least I didn't let myself be consumed with my intrusive thoughts, where something inside me told me to chase his tiara.
I managed to finish the poem as I used it to vent out, I am now calm even if my heart still has blain.

...

Lesson: We all have the experience where we were overjoyed, and then we suddenly went exhausted and melancholic. This is very unusual and we can't explain what's happening to us right? But let me tell you something, every time it happened to me, I just let things go. I won't cry as every time it happened to me is in public, where the people will judge you instead of giving you a sympathy. So, all I did is to eat—it's no way foods can give you anxiety, foods will calm you instead. And one more thing, I'll just look at the PANORAMA silently until I composed myself back by thinking about all the problems I went through while eating my comfort food—chocolates!