ON HOLD | Hunter x Hunter x reader ♡ The Female Zoldyck

♡prologue♡

my mother always wanted a daughter that she could dote on and dress up in different ways.

when she heard that she was having a girl, her happiness and excitement reached beyond the moon. immediately she began planning everything she could do with her and even wanted to be the direct one to train her into becoming a fine assassin.

i was born a year or so after illumi was, making him my older brother. i didn't have any defects or signs of illnesses. i was only a very quiet baby, which made my mother even happier. according to her everything about me was perfect. i was exactly how she imagined her dream daughter to be.

it's family tradition for us to undergo ruthless training from the age of 1 and from the moment i could walk i started with poison resistant training. i digested small dosages of poison to slowly build up my resistance.

...

"mom, what this?" i asked, looking up at her. she only smiled in return, "you need to ingest this. you'll only feel a little sick, alright sweetie? do this to make mommy proud." she said, pushing the small glass container close to my lips. i stared at her smile for a moment before nodding shortly and swallowing the liquid.

immediately i began tearing up, my throat felt like it was on fire and i began throwing up. thankfully mom had a trashcan ready for me to throw up in, and i collapsed near it when i was finished. she crouched down to my level and brushed my hair from my sticky and sweaty face as i gagged and cringed from nausea and pain. "you'll be okay, baby. you'll be the strongest assassin for mommy, right? then you'll have to withstand this."

i could barely hear her from my coughing and gagging, but she thankfully didn't snap at me and only carried me up in her arms. i clung onto her tightly, feeling nauseous.

she placed me in my room where she allowed me to sleep, and i ended up sleeping until the next day.

the same thing repeated, some maids coming to wake me up. eating breakfast and then getting dragged into that room where mom was waiting.

she pushed the container close to my lips just like yesterday, muttering some encouraging words that i couldn't pay attention to. i still felt deathly sick from yesterday but her happy expression made me give in. she seemed so proud of me when i downed it in one gulp, which made me happy. though i immediately collapsed on the floor and started throwing up in the trashcan again.

this time before collapsing i saw illumi peeking at me from the door. his black eyes stared at me, not understanding why i didn't get up. after all, he also went through the poison training but he never collapsed or passed out for so long afterwards.

i was too weak to say anything and immediately passed out.

♡

right off the bat i knew i couldn't take it. perhaps i was too young, or perhaps i was just not fit for the upbringing of an assassin. i quickly fell sick, but it was normal to be sick at the beginning of this training so no one bat an eye and continued with the usual routine. the next weeks were all a blur of repeated consumption of poison. maybe the first red flag was the fact that i collapsed and slept for more than 15 hours after the poison intake everytime... but it didn't matter to them. when i stood up straight the next day and could talk, it only meant that i could withstand more training. it never mattered how sick i was or how nauseous.

i remember bits and bits of memories of me throwing up very often, being too nauseous and exhausted to even stand on my own at some point. when it went on for a month my parents finally began getting concerned as it's normal for this first phase to slowly pass away after a month, but for me it was only getting worse.