ON HOLD | Hunter x Hunter x reader ♡ The Female Zoldyck

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years have passed. alluka is 3 years old while killua is 5 while i've just turned 19.

during these short years a lot has changed. first of all killua began his physical training when he was 3, and i couldn't see him for weeks on end because he'd spend most of his time getting tortured or training ruthlessly without break for hours. he was given his own room, making me sad that we would be seperated this way. sometimes i'd even see him once a month. it was such a sudden change, after the first time of going through this training he immediately ran to my arms in tears, crying and sobbing about his fears.

the second time, he cried as well, but not as much as before.

the third time he was numb, but he accepted my affection and reciprocated it too.

that's how he's been since then. no more tears. it seemed that illumi and silva forced him to grow out of that. it hurt so much to see him like this, he used to be a sweet boy who wasn't afraid to show his emotion and now he gradually has stopped expressing certain emotions that made him human. the emotional torture and abuse came from both silva and illumi. i don't know exactly who was responsible for what, but he told me that illumi was the one who manipulated and tormented him into letting go of such emotions and that was the last time he spoke to me about his training.

another sudden change was alluka. sometimes, his face would shift white and emotionless. it seems killua had known it before me, so he told me how to snap him out of it. by fulfilling his requests and giving him a small request afterwards he would then return to normal, not at all bothered by his sudden episode.

kalluto was born, but i wouldn't see him a lot. it seems kikyo was pretty attached to him.

and lastly, it seemed to only be an unreachable dream, but my drawings suddenly gained life. mostly being my scrapped drawings, as they're the ones that i'd rip out of my notebook. sometimes when i rip a drawing off my notebook, the same animal i'd drawn would come to life. i didn't even notice it at first, but when i once woke up in the middle of the night with a huge disfigured owl staring at me i screamed so loud that i woke up many of the maids. they all came rushing in, and i was surprised to see illumi there as well, looking around to see the danger. when i looked back to where the owl was, it had disappeared.

after that i was shortly lectured before everyone went to sleep.

i still don't understand how this can happen, but it could prove very useful in the future.

currently, alluka's birthday is tomorrow. he's turning 4 years old. we don't really celebrate birthdays, it's a foolish thing. but when i saw it in a book... i couldn't help but want to give that little joy to the boy. so here i am, sitting in the kitchen and trying to figure out this cake recipe. 

"are you sure you don't need help, ma'am?"

a cook asked, staring at my struggling form. i was trying to crack an egg open but i'd always get the shell in the mix, making me start over.

i huffed in annoyance, carefully cracking another egg, "i'm doing just fine!" i said but the result was saying otherwise. i would give us an egg shortage if this went on.

i then turned to him immediately after and grinned sheepishly, "actually can you please assist me? i don't know what i'm doing." i said, raising my hands that were covered with eggs.

he sighed before approaching me. "are you going to bake a cake?" he asked, looking at the recipe.

i nodded, washing my hands as i whispered cautiously, making sure no one was looking, "yeah! don't tell anyone... but it's for alluka's birthday! i wanted to celebrate it with killua and alluka."