Life Imitates Art

Part 18 - Luna-like

Max_

A conflict crosses my mind as Tess goes back to her room. Do I take all this stuff off in case there's an unexpected knock at the door? Or do I just relax, knowing that I'm in the safe zone. I'm in my place of comfort. Charizard is watching over me, warding off undesirables. I can't be touched. But do I keep all of this on? It feels bizarre to be in Tessa's clothes. The skirts don't feel nearly as scary when they're paired with my own shirts. The full set makes this all feel real. I need to use the bathroom. I've had to do that a lot more often recently. I don't know why.

My hands are shaking too much upon return to start making any meaningful progress on a new Maxine sketch. I'll have to use the picture on the sly in school tomorrow and try to do something about it then. For now, I just can't bring myself to draw. It's like writer's block for artists. Anything I try is quickly being swallowed by my inner drama. I can't exactly draw myself in a skirt like this.

I look through the message boards instead, checking for anyone who is doing anything that will act as a pleasant distraction. Every time I go to take the skirt off, something stops me. The force feels spiritual. Some kind of paranormal energy halting me from going back to being Max on the outside. My hands shake to the point where even unbuckling the skirt is too much to ask. I can only just find the energy to slip out of the black blazer. However, I'm shivering enough to keep it on. Even with all the software generating heat in my room, the blazer must stay on or I'll freeze.

There is nothing on the boards that looks like a meaningful diversion of attention from how I'm dressed. A couple of comments on my recent work are always nice to read, but they don't take long to reply to. I need something that will capture my focus for at least an hour.

I click the link Avery sent for 'LunaBunny', the streaming channel. She seemed entertaining enough on that clip to be of use right now. Unfortunately, she isn't live. Scheduling issue. That's as much as I know from the homepage. Although, she does apparently have a YouTube channel. She calls it 'LunaBunnyOD'. I can only assume that the OD means 'on demand' and not a more sinister abbreviation with these 2 words. She didn't seem like she was a drug-user.

Her videos promise to be a high point in title alone. The top upload is that same clip from before only it has more context than it did on Twitch. With no need to rewatch it, I go to her 2nd most popular video. It's called 'Luna Appears'.

The video opens with a cute little channel logo appearing on an all-pink edit. The B has bunny ears on the top, and the L is all glittery. The font is just like the Barbie logo. I wonder if she made it herself. It's not advanced as far as graphic design goes, but it's neat and does the job required.

After the logo, she appears. Except, she looks very different. Gone is the long hair, the dress and the heels. Instead, I see a typical boy. He looks more like a boy than I do, especially in this moment, but just generally as well. He's still bare-faced but he is in a football shirt and there's no evidence for what else he is wearing. He is sat a lot closer to his setup. Voices start.

'So, Owl lost. You know what that means. For today's stream, Owl is going to have a new outfit.' Another voice breaks it down. He calls himself Hawk. I guess they're all birds. Luna must be Owl?

The main man(?) reluctantly disappears, and the other guys continue to play without him. They try not to give away the major surprise of what Owl has to wear. I'm pretty certain I can join it all together. Owl will come back in a cheap dre-

'OK! I think I'm finally done.' Luna's screen comes back and is edited to take up the whole video space. The first thing I see are that his...well, her legs are now encased in fishnet stockings. As she walks further into the room, she reveals that she is wearing a black leotard with no straps. She has a little bow tie on and the bunny ears that seem to have since defined her. Her makeup is pretty much non-existant. I spot some mascara and lipstick, but nothing near as extreme as what I have on.

'Owl is back! And he looks very different!' The boys all laugh. Owl himself laughs with them, but also mentions that he looks hot like this. The guys all expect him to be playing up for the stream. I can imagine that this wasn't him pretending.

There's a hard cut after a single line.

'At least you don't have to stay that way forever, Owl'.

The picture returns. We find a happy Luna dressed all cute with a collection of people who look like they could be family. Luna then comes back on to the screen.

'It all started as a huge L. It became the biggest dub ever! Subscribe to be part of my beautiful burrow!'

Well...damn. It started that innocently? One outfit and she was taken by it? Sorry, he. Or is it she? They haven't made it clear which pronoun they prefer. Maybe they're happy with either?

But yeah, it was one outfit. I've worn at least 4 now. I'm in deeper than he was.

My throat clogs up. My hands sweat like never before.

Is...Luna...like...me? Am I like them, more accurately? Is that OK? For real? Could I dress like my drawings and still be a boy? Could I do both? And do I really want to go there? I love the outfits I draw. They just seem like something that is forbidden to me.

Tess_

An hour passes before I pop in to check on Max and let him know he might want to change if he hasn't already. I enter his room to find that he is watching a crossdresser on YouTube. Um...is he looking for tips? Oh sh*t. I'm right, eh? He is like that. He does want to be a girl.

OK, don't panic. You love Max. You love Maxine, too. You can live with it. He'll need you. She'll need you.

"How's the uniform?"

"It's alright, yeah. I can see the appeal."

"Nice. So um, who is this?"

"Avery recommended her content. She uh...said she was really funny."

I can tell he's hiding the actual reason. No! Tess! You need to listen to the advice you've been given. Let Max work it out at least part of the way. Don't decide who he is. Besides, Saturday will be more telling than pushing it right now.

"Ah, Avery! That's your girlfriend, right?"

"Shut up! I look more like the girlfriend right now, anyway!"

"Lesbians are real, Maxine." I give him my joke look again. "It's probably time to get changed. Unless you want Mum and Dad to see. They'll be home soon."

"Good point. I need help removing all this makeup, though."

"What else is a sister for?" It's not going to be the last time she'll need my help with this stuff. Time to teach your little sis, Tess!

I help Max to remove all traces of Maxine. It's one of the best opportunities I have to just ask him, here and now. 'Do you want to be a girl, Max?' That's all I need to say. He appears to be in a vulnerable enough position that he would be in no mood to lie about it. And yet, I can't bring myself to ask. I don't want to force him to admit something he wants to hide.

"There you go, Max. You're now back to how you were! If you want to look that way more often, you'll need to buy your own makeup. I can't be using that much twice a day every day!"

"You've got nothing to worry about, sis. I think I'd only use eye makeup at most." I think even saying that much took guts for my poor, confused sibling.

"You can get that pretty cheap. You know, we could go looking on Saturday after my drama club."

"I can't just go looking at makeup. What if someone sees?" Same old Max. Worried about others' perceptions of him.

"Simple. You say it's for me."

That would be enough to keep the attention off him. Siblings shopping, that's all it is. In the proposed group of 4, we can easily make it look like it's for anyone but him.

With a clean face, my crossdressing brother follows me downstairs. It's like nothing ever happened.