Life Imitates Art

Part 19 - Keep Hush

Max_

Well, last night was an experience. It was one I couldn't remove from my head either. I kept looking down under the covers to make sure I hadn't kept the skirt on by mistake. With my smooth legs and the makeup, it didn't feel like I was male anymore. It's a feeling that I'm ashamed to even try and explain. Even saying this much about it feels like confessing to a murder.

The best thing to do is keep hush and power through as I have all these weeks before this one. Besides, they call Wednesday the 'hump day', right? Once you're done with the longest-named day of the week, it's the gentle slide down to the weekend. I remember someone saying that somewhere.

I slide into my trousers. They feel like butter to the clean, metallic sheen on my moisturised legs. I check more than a few times that there is a gap at the groin and I haven't thrown Tessa's clothes on by accident. Satisfied that I've managed to dress myself as a boy today, I clean my teeth and grab my bag. A few deep breaths as a rapid meditation psyche me up for re-entering Tess' car. Another day comes. Face it.

Tessa doesn't want to bring up anything about last night. If she did, she would the moment we are sat down. Instead, it's just a music morning. I can see she's not in the best mood.

"Sis? You alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, little bro. Why do you ask?"

"You're just a lot quieter than you've been."

Tess_

I'm just so guilty about what I'm doing to Max's head. Maxine feels like all I can talk to him about. It preoccupies every thought I have about him. If I don't bring up the special girl, he might not be so puzzled about it.

I know what I saw on his YouTube browser. I think I want to encourage him to be himself, but not in a way that gets him hurt. I'll wait until once school is done for another week and then get back to Mission Maxine.

"Nah. Nothing's wrong. I'm just not in the mood to chat. Got a test this morning."

"Ahh, I see. Well, good luck!"

Max_

That might be what Tess was doing last night, then. She was really quiet.

I leave her plucky little Micra and step on to the bus with the usual few students who detest me. They all do. Only a few board the bus each morning. Most of the savages at school are more local.

Today, my hands feel more up to the task of drawing something. I make sure to sit in a concealed corner of the bus and turn my back to the wall to hide what I'm doing. I open my gallery on my phone to find the pictures of me from last night. I move them to the secure folder, which opens with a five-digit pin that I will take to my grave.

I start sketching Maxine's face once again. I make sure the eyelashes are dramatic and bold, large enough to be mistaken for the wings of a Staraptor. For the non-nerds, let's say a phoenix. Is that less nerdy at all? Her face is that spotless kind that no real girl has. Manga never really takes into consideration what the 'everyday' person looks like, so blemishes are reserved for fight scenes.

Using Tessa's tips, and the reference of my own made-up face (which is well out-of-sight of everyone else) the makeup on this Maxine sketch looks like the sort that could actually exist. It's not so cartoonish as it always seems to be. The crease of her eye makeup is more pronounced, but being able to see the sort of thing I should be aiming for has made this the best drawing I've done of my girl yet. And I've only done the face!

The hair sits so much better now in terms of realism, too. I can see what her hair covers and where exactly to make the features pop more. I play with the idea of half-covering her left eye with fringe and decide that I prefer it to the usual framing I do. I'm not adding colours yet.

I have her head sketched by the time the bus pulls up at the familiar war zone. I put the book away in my bag and lock my phone. I need to hide any evidence of what all this was. At lunch, I'll continue the heinous crime of art.

It's not worth recounting classes. I keep my head down. I only answer when told to. It's the way it has been for as long as I've been here.

I draw Maxine's legs during morning interval, leaving the tricky outfit as lunchtime's job. It's not the most intricate one I'll ever draw, but I want every detail to be accurate to the picture.

That's where a potential hiccup occurs.

See, I zone out. I'm so absorbed by needing to perfect the design on the outfit that I completely forget Mr Trundell is in the room. He goes to the back of his room to open a window and comes back around behind my desk.

"That's an interesting girl there."

Oh. Oh no. He saw. He definitely saw who it was, too. He must know. That's me.

"Yeah, found her online. Basing my new work off her."

"She has the same sort of hair as you do. Must be what the girls are going for these days. As you were!"

Was he calling me a girl? Or was he just talking about her hair generally?

And like that, he goes back to his desk. I swallow my heart with a few deep breaths and gulps. That could have been the end of my world right there. Even now, there's no guarantee he won't tell Carsley.

I note down to definitely change Maxine's hairstyle. It's too obvious if Mr Trundell is saying things like that. She can still be me, but she doesn't have to go exposing anything that isn't there

At lunch, the comment doesn't stop me from continuing the work. He's seen it now. If anything, it does just make it easier. I don't need to try and conceal my phone screen from him. He knows exactly what and who is on it, and he hasn't flipped his lid.

Replicating the collar is easy, but I always try to make them sharper and higher than they actually are. It's another style thing for a lot of manga. If an outfit looks impractical, it gets more points in the community. That's why dressing as your favourite anime character tends to be reserved for Halloween and cosplay events.

On the blazer, I put the same old rose patch as the first Maxine sketch. Her shoes will also be the same as on that one. But I do make a strong attempt at replicating Tessa's school badge on the other side. The shield is a lot easier to draw when I can see it in front of me. The blazer itself flows out a little below the waistline, giving a lot of space for the skirt.

I take a ruler from my bag and softly line some tartan checks all along the skirt at 45-degree angles to the waistline. There has to be 3 or 4 of each line at each part, but it can't start looking too checkered. This is why I do it so softly. To say I nail everything first time would be a complete fib. It's also important to put the lines at a different angle to the actual silhouette of the girl herself. If you do it the same, she starts looking too pinup-ish if that makes sense. It's just always how I've seen it in my head. That's probably why I don't draw bodies first.

I know Max - I - didn't wear socks, but Maxine should. The more I look at the outfit, especially with the boots, she'll need socks. I go for the classic thigh-high design, making notes to put red bows on the top which will match the skirt. Colour co-ordination is a lot more of the appeal of digital art than some would like to admit. If colours catch eyes, make sure they do so for the right reason. My concept sketches always end up garnering less attention than polished, pigmented projects.

Going home, I have no other things on my mind.

"Tess! I got the school uniform sketch pretty much finished! It's ready to be digitalised. Do you want to see it?"

"Sure! You've worked on this one quickly!"

"It's all that time I've got at lunch now. And I did a fair bit on the bus."

"Was that a thank you?" Tessa jokingly asks. It is due to her persistence that I even have that window of no judgment.

"Yeah. Thanks. Anyways, have a look!"

"Yep, nailed it! Maxine could be in the same classes as my pals' wee sisters. She looks so real!"

Tess_

She looks real because she probably is. Never lose sight of the mission. Never lose sight of Saturday's challenge.