Warm Hands

Appointment day

*Vivaan's pov*

I sighed as airu hung up the call. There's absolutely no way there would be a network issue in a 5-star hotel. Knowing her she might have already made my appointment for tomorrow . I don't know what got into me that i called her at this ungodly hour because of my nightmares. My disturbed sleep pattern never really caused an issue to me ever since I've gotten to cuddle with airu every night since the past few days but it's the first time I'm sleeping without her and it's causing and issue now. I checked the time again 3:27 showed my phone.

It was too early for a work out so i played airu's playlist. I had once subtly dropped a hint that her voice singing to me helps me have great sleep so she had recorded herself singing a bunch of songs and playing guitar and gifted me that playlist. It has helped me with my migraines many many times. I slowly drifted back to sleep with her warm soothing voice in the background. I managed to sleep for almost 2 more hours but body clock woke me up at 6 so i decided to get my day started.

I made it a habit to not touch my phone until I've brushed my teeth and bathed. I don't know why but i really love it back in my orphanage we weren't allowed to use any gadgets untill we had our breakfast it helped our mornings go peacefully. I had a look at my messages while having my cereal and i had received a message from airu saying " I booked you a appointment with your senior doctor I want you to go for it if you want me to continue being your girlfriend don't think that i wouldn't date you if your mentally ill I would happily marry you irrespective of whatever your health looks like but please go for the appointment I don't want to see you suffering in pain " I couldn't help but smile wide at the message.

I left for the hospital making sure to drive carefully because I was still drowsy due to lack of sleep. Once I reached the hospital one of my fellow teammates informed me that Sameer sir had asked for me. Reaching his cabin I greeted him and he responded with a smirk. That smirk lasted on his face all throughout our appointment because I had finally decided to work on my nightmares after years of him trying to convince me to go for a treatment.

In my defense I hadn't wished to start a treatment because I wanted to save my earnings. Our hospital was the best one when it came to mental health treatment but with the exceptional treatment came the expensive price. I was saving my money because I wanted to buy a house, the one in which I currently live is not my house it is my parents house. Not having any memories of my parents makes me feel too overwhelmed to live in the house where all 3 of us were supposed to be living happily.

When I first moved into that house after graduation I broke down soo bad because the house hadn't been touched since the last time me and my parents left it the day they both died. There was indeed dust everywhere but the walls were covered with pictures of my parents. There was this huge frame of a picture which was I guess taken soon after I was born because my mom was in it holding a almost 1 month old baby and my dad was seen back hugging her. They looked at me with so much love.

The house did feel like I don't deserve to live in it after snatching it away from its owners. This was supposed to be my parents heaven. It was supposed to my home growing up but it didn't happen. Me, Sahil and Rishi were the only ones in our orphanage whose parents had passed away due to some tragic events. Yuvaan and Arjun bhai came way later when I was around 8 years old. This house doesn't feel like my own. Think about my future I want to marry Samaira but I don't wish to bring her in this house.

I want us to have our own home, a place that  would provide us with peace and a sense of belonging. Now that I have been saving all these years I have the resources to buy any luxury apartment in Delhi but I'm holding myself back. I'm waiting for airu to be back so that I can talk to her on this matter because at the end of the day the new residence will not just be mine it will belong to both of us so I value her opinions as much as I stand by my own decisions.

Finishing my day in a blur I drove home still barely awake but I managed to eat dinner and talk to airu about my appointment. I left the apartment topic for now because I want to speak to her in person about it. I went to sleep that day after practising some of the methods that sir had suggested for my better sleep. I did sleep well that night but the rest of the week passed in a blur I felt like a robot just sleeping, eating, working and repeat. Before I knew it friday night had arrived and I got a call from airu saying it was not needed for me to pick her up from the airport , she was being dropped here by the management.

Opening the door for airu and having her in my arms hugging the life out of each other after being apart for 5 days felt like the best painkiller. It was already past midnight when she arrived and for the last 10 minutes we were standing in the middle of the living room wrapped up in each other's arms after I had locked the door properly again. " I missed you so much " She mumbled against my shoulder and I hummed. I couldn't trust my voice right now. I had this lump in my throat a clear sign of how hard I was trying to stop my tears.

I had missed her terribly. After she came back into my life I had realised all over again of how lonely I was and how much I would appreciate to have someone by my side who loved me and accepted all of my flaws. Every time I looked at her I fell in love all over again because she just isn't my high school crush to whome I'd write secret letters but she is the reason I got through the high school phase with a smile. Every other day my bullies at school and orphanage would make me cry or hit me till I have had bruises but seeing her smile as she sat by the stairs to read my note made it worth getting up from the bed in the morning to come to school.

Me being insecure of my looks wasn't the only reason why I never met her in high school. The major reason was I didn't want my bullies to find pit about her right from the very beginning I've been protective of her even when I was yet to write my first letter to her. She had captured a spot in my heart at the exact moment when I saw her through the binoculars from the school terrace.

All I know is that never in my life I had anticipated to receive her love. She is my biggest blessing. She is the one who broke my belief of the fact that I could live happily if I was alone. I love her to death and I'll make sure none of my past causes any harm to her.

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Here's a small update for y'all
Thank you for being so patient with me.
I tried to write this one as perfectly as I could but due to being out of practice it may not be like my previous chapters.

I'm slowly coming out of my writers block so you guys can expect an update on the other two books in this week as well but I can't promise anything.

Thank you

I love you

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