Wielding Stars | Wattys2015 | On Hold

Chapter 15; Jealousy

I believe as humans we are toys, we are trampled, beaten, moved, and eventually destroyed. I have created myself a passion, a devotion, an honor, that is to watch June sing every night at that broken down bar. The difficult factor involved is, what I love kills me. It's not unexpected, that other guys try to flirt with June, they use her as a toy, but it is as unexpected when she accepts it.

"Daryl it's no big deal, I would never leave you."

"Daryl it's fine, he's a jerk anyway."

"Daryl don't worry, I love you"

The same repeating words every single night. So I wrote in my songbook, in which each of the chapters of my life go into and I think I'll name this song "Jealousy". My favorite is, by a mile and back, "Exquisite", a song I wrote for June on her 22nd birthday.

I grabbed my pencil and flipped through the ripped and worn down pages, when I finally found a new page to destroy. The small white piece of loose-leaf held my thoughts and secured them into a state of oblivion. I can write all my pain into this enduring book, but in the end of all times, rather the end of me, nobody will see it. Nobody will pick through the chapters of my life, and learn how everything can turn to hell in five minutes.

While I sat for about three or four minutes and thought about what words would describe my inner soul, I came upon a song I wrote when I was eighteen and I had just came across an angel. She didn't know me, but I felt like through a mic we had connected unlike anything else.

"Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Sugar is sweet.

And so are you.

Roses are generally red, and violets are indeed generally blue, but I was the sweet one, and you didn't have a clue."

As my dry and cracked fingers slightly touched the inside of the page, I thought about the fact that now, she still may not have a clue. While she is out talking to other guys who may be more physically attractive or smart, I was the one who fell into a black mindless oblivion. She forgot about me, and how I was the sweet one.

I started frantically flipping through the pages and my temper was very quickly rising above anything else.

"I remember those times when I came back, and I gazed at you. How every moment faded into black, but in those moments, we were true."

I do remember those time I came back to watch your bright white aura, across the darkened room. I remembered gazing at you, and thinking to myself how it would be a life long dream to have a life with you. To love you every day, but that lyrical piece described it all, every moment did fade into black, and it was all a lie.

Again, I started exploring the darkest areas of my eternally angered soul.

"Stars can burn bright, but for all who don't know, stars can also burn dark. Like a black hole, a dying star burns. Like a cold soul, a stone heart turns."

I remember when we were the brightest burning star, but when you reveal a pent-up resentment towards harmless souls, you become the darkest of all the stars. I am the black hole, I endure everything, just so you won't see it again. I am the cold soul, but a stone heart turns what? It turns into the blackest void of obsidian. Everything can enter, but nothing can return ever.

My hand rips out a couple pages, then swipes through the next.

"I love you greater than that of Aphrodite.

And of all the the gods.

Where we have such a unique power.

As if our love was thunderbolts and rods."

Our love is thunder bolts and rods, because if I'm not mistaken, every time I get burnt down and destroyed. Who would of thought a bar would be a place of peace and tranquility for one. It was for me, but now every time I return, there stumbling a drunken lust master pursues his target. June.

I throw the book at the wall, and lines scatter across my brain, leaving one above all of them.

"Beautiful Shelly slaps her feet as she takes her first few steps towards me. What a sight, my baby girl obtaining a life gift, one of the many methods of progressing in her pathway set."

Shelly, a fearless soul traveling through the blackness of a mistaken marriage...

I collapsed.