author note: this is based on my own book on ao3.
headcanon: he was a child actor, but the directors would abuse him physically, mentally and sexually, he grew a hatred for directors and powerful people in ivywood, where he grew up, he hated the word gentle due to the directors saying they would be gentle with him, he has a panic attack everytime someone says it to him, he is nervous when someone says it in another sentence, but when they say it to him, it starts a panic attack.