summary: asmodeous used to be a hall monitor, but not a really good one.
warning: swearing and many uncomfortable topics are mentioned in this oneshot.
It shows Asmodeus, he was looking a bit frail as most of his hair was almost gray, but still had some blue.
asmodeus: I've been a hall monitor for about 15 years now.
Then it shows a demon kid running in the hallway.
asmodeus:'holding a megaphone phone'stop running you little asshole.
then it shows asmodeus outside, screaming into the mega phone again.
asmodeus: lucifer, i'm going to need back up, the kingdergardeners are raping each other!
lucifer:'in his office and quickly runs outside'
asmodeus: oh, i got promoted to the detention manager.
It shows Asmodeus screaming into the mega phone as he walks down the detention room.
asmodeus: get your work done! this is detention not the trailer you come home to!
Then he points at a random kid.
asmodeus: you look like a goddamn troll.
Then it shows Asmodeus putting water on himself.
asmodeus: every day at 2 pm, i get drier than the goddamn mahavi.
'leviathan, the sin of envy, just shakes his head and walks away'
asmodeus: what?
asmodeus is then shown pointing at a drawing.
asmodeus: little asshole didn't even try.
Then it shows Asmodeus in front of a little kid.
asmodeus: oh you just shit yourself?
Then it shows Asmodeus sitting on the chair upside down.
asmodeus: no talking'grabs the mega phone'this is a place of silence!
Then it shows Asmodeus walking past two students making out.
asmodeus: why don't you focus on doing your math homework instead of getting pregnant?
Then it shows Asmodeus in the classroom all alone.
asmodeus: years ago, my third husband went out one night for a beer, but it was all the way in tennessee and had much bigger tits.
'Then it shows Asmodeus looking at a group photo with the teachers.
asmodeus: you know the new math teacher? lesbian.
Then it shows Asmodeus in front of a little boy.
asmodeus: well maybe you wouldn't be in detention if you stop playing with the other boys asshole.
Then it shows Asmodeus as a little girl showed him a drawing.
asmodeus: you wanna become what? a doctor? I wanted to become a ballerina and you wanna know what I became?
little girl: a hall monitor?
asmodeus: HIV positive.
bee:.....'calls lucifer'hey luci, we might need to take asmodeus to the doctor, again.
Then a lunchbox is thrown at Asmodeus' head.
asmodeus: stop looking at my left pec kid, you just earned yourself another hour.
It shows 2 teenagers passing notes when Asmodeus grabs it.
asmodeus: passing notes you little assholes?
he opens it.
asmodeus: oh that's very clever, who drew this?
he opens it to reveal himself with 3 dicks around him, the fourth dick was in his mouth, a girl snickers.
ozzie: oh don't laugh diane, this is a good night for me.
teenage boy:'trying to smoke marijuana'
asmodeus:'looks under the stall with the megaphone phone'busted shithead!
Then he opens the door.
asmodeus: thought you could smoke the marijuana?
Then he takes the boy out of the stall.
asmodeus: you just earned yourself 3 weeks of detention young man.
teen boy:'rips off asmodeus pants and runs off with them'
asmodeus: hey!'turns on the alarm on the mega phone and runs after the boy, he had boxers with blue flames and skulls on them'
lucifer:'working on paperwork when asmodeus appears by the window outside'
asmodeus:'shouting into megaphone megaphone'lucifer, one of the second graders is on fire and I don't think he's going to make it this time.
a kid is shown to be on fire.
belphegor: wait.....JP?!
JP: Mommy help me!
belphegor: i'm coming!'runs'
Then it shows a teenage girl in short shorts as Asmodeus is talking to her.
asmodeus: do you know what happens to little girls who wear shorts that short?
teenage girl: what?
asmodeus: A white van picks them up and they get all of their holes resized.
another teenage girl raises her hand.
asmodeus: not you Melissa, you're never getting molested.
Then it shows Asmodeus ripping off a piece of paper.
asmodeus: son of a bitch.
It shows that the drawing was of asmodeus with tits.
asmodeus: fifth one i found today, I don't know who keeps trying these but if I had tits like that, Maybe someone would actually love me.
Then it shows a little kid taking Asmodeus somewhere.
asmodeus: alright, i'm coming, god dammit.
they go to an empty hallway.
asmodeus: Now what did you have to tell me?
the little kid whispers it to asmodeus ear.
asmodeus: you're gay? oh, what a surprise, and nobody else knows about this?
Then it shows Asmodeus walking into Lucifer's office.
asmodeus: lucifer, i got terrible news, you know timmy the fourth grader?
lucifer: yes?
asmodeus: gay, he told me this afternoon.
lucifer: ok.....and?
asmodeus: what do you mean you're not going to do anything about it? he's probably out there getting his holes stretched.
he didn't notice the microphone for the announcement was on, letting everyone hear what he had to say.
Then it shows Lucifer in his office all alone.
lucifer: asmodeus? he's a pain in the ass, but he's still my little brother.
Then it shows a bee smoking a cigarette.
bee: if it weren't for lucifer stopping me, i would have kicked his damn ass.
