A bitch gonna try to get fancy and poetic, or just sad with yall this book. Dont judge and wish me luck... ENJOYYYY!
Autumn
Trying to except someone is gone is one of the hardest things a human can experience, especially when you don't know how much that special person had an impact on you. That is why the saying "You dont know what you have until it's gone" is such a famous quote.
I dont like to wish death on anybody, but one person I would wish it on is my boyfriend, John. I'm only dating him because my dad made me for some money thing or whatever. So I'm kinda stuck with him for now even though hes a bitch.
He is one person I wish I could get rid of. Physically abusive, mentally abusive, and just a bad person. He's most likely the person who gave me depression. Either that or the loss of my sister~ actually both.
Whenever I didnt want to do something John said, aka sleep with him which I am never going to do, he would beat me and tell me how much of a bitch that I am, and would tell me that my sister would be better for him, but It doesnt matter because shes dead now. He even said he wished he could have slept with her before she was buried. I know, ew. Hes just an overall bitch and hes honestly kind of scary but I'm not going to show him that side of me. He never will see that side of me.
I haven't told anyone about my depression because my boyfriend and my dad just say "it's made up" or "you make yourself depressed" like I'm sorry but that isnt how it works, just like how when people fall in love, it could be with anyone, for example, my cousin fell in love with another cousin.
A/N (This is actually true cause I just learned one of my favorite cousins fell in love with another cousin- LIKE HUUHH!? I was gonna give her props cause shes also a lesbian but then I found out it was another cousin she fell in love with and wanted to cry. Please help me, shes also a year younger than me- depression...)
Basically what I'm saying is that you cant control most if your feelings, sometimes you could be feeling shitty in what's supposed to be a happy situation or you might feel anger in a sad situation, but you dont mean to, but you want to feel nothing at all sometimes. You feel as if feeling nothing would be better than feeling like shit all the time. Or if you are numb then you might feel like feeling sad would be better than feeling nothing at all, but you know you cant fix it, you dont know what it would take to fix it.
You slowly run out of patience, then you take your own life, that's when people notice. Once you're gone, then they regret everything they have done, wish they could have done something, and now it is to late, that is the only time they notice.
The whole time you felt like it was your fault, it was actually theirs, they made you feel trapped as if you couldn't state your emotions, they made you feel closed off.
They made you feel more worthless than you already felt just because they didnt believe you.
It felt as if they didnt believe in you. That they didnt believe you could make it past your problems since according to them, you didnt have any problems.
And then when it's to late, that's when the start to care.
That's when they realize, that is when they realize that they were the problem all along.
♡♡♡
Heyyyyy who's alive?
YOU ARE READING
Run Away From Death... (Intersex X Girl)
Romance"Give me one reason to stay Jess, after all the hell and pain I've been though, just give me one reason to keep living." She stayed silent. "Exactly, that's because I have none, everything I love always leaves me so I might aswell leave too, even th...
