𝐖𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭. ~ chanmin.

chapter 18.

the two then pulled from the hug and seungmin looked up at chan sorta smiling. right at chan started leaning in to kiss seungmin, boom it ended and seungmin woke up crying and sweating.

seungmin: n-no..

it was just a dream seungmin thinks to himself as he sits up in bed, after a bit he pulled himself together enough just to attend one class since he hasn't been going. he got out of bed and changed into a oversized shirt and sweatpants, he then grabbed his phone, keys, wallet, and his backpack. right as he walked out his room he saw everyone. mina, chaeyoung, minho, jisung, jeongin, changbin, hyunjin and felix. he just ignored them going to the kitchen to get something to drink but while doing so mina started talking to him.

mina: hey seungmin, uh do you wanna join us before you leave?.

seungmin: no. not hungry.

mina: you havent been eating min. please?.

seungmin: dont call me min okay?. i said i wasnt hungry.

he says grabbing a water bottle and going to the fromt door sitting down putting his shoes on, while he was tying his laces mina came over to him siting next to him.

mina: seungmin.

seungmin: what?.

mina: im worried about you. everyone is.

seungmin: pfft. since fucking when.

mina: we've always been worried. clearly your not doing well mentally or emotionally

she says as she looked down at his arm which had a few scars. seungmin hid his arm and looked at mina

seungmin: im fine. leave me alone

mina: its been four months since chan left. almost five. can't you just get over him already?.

seungmins heart sunk.

seungmin: look. i dont want you or fucking anyone to wrry about me okay?!. you have no idea how it feels when you break up with someone you actually l-loved because of someone else's mistake then he fucking DISAPPEARS JUST L-LIKE THAT LEAVING YOU ABSOLUTELY CLUELESS!.

mina: seungmin i-

seungmin: YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS! N-NONE OF YOU DO SO DONT EVER! TELL ME T-TO JUST GET OVER CHAN! BECAUSE I-I LOVED HIM. AND HE JUST DISAPPEARED LIKE THAT! AND I MAY N-NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!.

he says getting up and walking out the door slamming it behind him, seungmin was on the edge of crying but held it in. he left the dorm buliding and left to his first class once there he sat down and did his work and etc. afterwards he went to his next class, while in that class seungmin ended up falling asleep throughout the whole lesson. after that class he left and decided to sit underneath a tree where him and chan would usually sit during lunch, while sitting he read the letter chan left him.

"dear seungmin.
hey minnie, how are you doing darling?, i know you hate me and maybe want me gone but i just want to say, it was never my intention to hurt you. the party. she came onto me, i promise you that. i would never ever cheat on you. your the love of my life and well i never wanted to lose you but i guess its a little to late to say that. i just wanted to let you know, im leaving college. doing online instead so you wont see me again like yoi said you wanted. i also changed my number, im going to miss you. so much. but i still have the bear you gave me on our anniversary. so whenever im missing you or etc. ill always have a reminder of you. im always going to be visiting the hill we went to on our first date. it makes me happy just being there and remembering all the happy times together. but thats all besides the point i love you seungmin. and always will no matter what.
Love chan <3."