I'm Closer Than You Think

Changing Destiny's Choice

Yuri's P.O.V

My head feels like rocks have been thrown at it multiple times due to the amount of crying that I've been doing. Yesterday, the one true love of my life died, In my arms. Today is Wolfram's funeral and this may seem harsh but I really don't want to go.

When Conrad confirmed Wolfram's death to me, that's when I realised that I didn't have infinite amount of teardux. My eyes released so many tears yesterday and today that I don't think I can cry anymore.

I don't want to say goodbye to my soul mate. I want him with me, right here, in my arms. God I would do anything just to see him smile again. His smile made me smile, even in the most horrible situations. He was my happiness, my warmth, my love, my life.

But now that Wolfram's gone, all I feel is sadness and coldness. I feel empty. His death ripped a huge hole in my heart that stings everytime I think about him. It feels like I have a deep wound and someone is pouring huge amounts of salt on to it, causing the pain to worsen.

The only thing that brings me, even the slightest bit of happiness is Greta. All though she isn't mine or Wolfram's blood, she seems to be the only thing that I have left of Wolfram.

Greta has cried, probably as much as I have and everytime I see her, the hole in my heart widens even more. Ever since yesterday, her eyes have been red and puffy. Her cheerful, adorable smile that was always shown on her face, disappeared the moment she find out that her father passed away.

I can't say that I've been trying to stay strong for my daughter because I haven't. It's not because I don't want to, it's because I just can't. I can't hold in my emotions, I can't hold in my tears. I will say that I tried staying strong once and that was last night.

Greta and I had crawled into bed and I saw her clutching the material of the pillow under her head. I sat and placed my hand over one of her clenched ones, in an attempt to reassure her. She sat up and looked at me with her eyes, redder than I had even seen them, and sighed.

She wiped her dried tears with the back of her hand and locked her eyes with mine. Without saying anything we just stared at each other for about half a minute until I broke down. Again letting my tears have their own way out of my eye sockets, which Greta did also.

Whilst crying, I pulled her close to my chest and just held her there. We didn't need actual words to tell each other what we felt, because our tears were our words.

What hurts me even more, is the fact that Greta blames herself for what happened to Wolfram. The reason she does is because she was the one who wanted to go to village in the first place, but I keep telling her it wasn't. Wolfram was right when he said to her that it's natural for a child to have curiosity. As it is a part of growing up.

The only people to blame for Wolfram's death are the people who did this to him. They intruded into my kingdom, and took the life of my fiancé. But when their deed was over and done with, they vanished without a trace, as if they never existed in the first place. Everytime I think about them, it makes my blood boil to the point of burning.

Those people not only brought me pain, they brought pain to Wolfram's brothers, his mother, his daughter, his friends and the rest of his family. They took away mine and Wolfram's dreams and desires. We planned on living our futures together, with children of our own flesh and blood. Children that Greta could love as her little brothers or sisters.

I'm going to miss that beautiful smile of his. His gorgeous green eyes that sparkled like actual diamonds, even in the dark. His laugh that caressed my ears like a soothing lullaby being sung to a little child. His golden locks of hair that perfectly caressed his face, which would always remind me of the morning sun. I can't ever hold him in my arms again because they took him away from me.