POTS ~ The struggle of standing

|| 28 ||

Eliot's pov:

That winter had been light blue. As the snow that had yet to fall, but was now too late. It had felt like time went by way too fast, and suddenly it was spring.

As far as he knew Hazel, Juno and Eliot had all been happy. He had been happy. His pots hadn't even been that bad. Witch had actually been quite a surprise, considering that the change in seasons had a big impact on his condition. Summers were worst, but winters was still a lot. He didn't handle the weather very well. And yet, Eliot couldn't help but like how the seasons had switched. How he had switched. From getting more honest with himself and people he cared for. Switched back to an old version of the person who he used to be. He lied about his condition before it got out of hand. But one can't always hide in plain sight.

As of late, there had been the occasional worse day and sometimes the following recovery day, but he had gone through them with the help of the people he loved: his mother, Juno and Hazel. Eliot had not even had the time to wish that these light blue days would last forever, before they ended. And quite abruptly at that.

The colours he saw this spring, felt dull. The newfound leafs that were full of live and hope, turned pale. The light that once were in the brunette's eyes had faded away. Time had come to a stop for him, yet the world around and everything else seems to move on its own, as if nothing had happened. As if nothing had changed. When I'm fact, everything had. Eliot had done something unforgivable. He had lied. And to his newfound best friend at that.

He was now forced by his consciousness, to take responsibility for his own actions. It was him and him alone that had said 'yes' to Juno. And now he had to face the consequences. As long as he could at least... Pretend that is. Pretend to like someone, in a way he did not. But he could live with that. It was bearable. Continuing to lie was heartbreaking, but sometimes necessary. And Eliot would do what was necessary.

He hated himself for doing something, which would only cause hurt on the long run. Yet Eliot wasn't aboe to feel the hatred he should've been. He was not capable of hate. But at the same time he was, it just never felt like it was enough, or it felt like it was too much. Hate it a strong word. Sometimes too strong.

Juno liked Eliot. He had found his first real friend. He was not about to loose him again.

Eliot didn't know what to do now. So he had to ask someone else. This was not for a family or medical reason but for friendship, so he would ask Hazel. Even though Hazel was mostly Juno's friend, he had at least felt as though they'd become friends.

He ended up calling her. When they didn't answer the first time, he lost a little of his hope. Or maybe that's what you call a soul.

Maybe this is just life, he thought. His phone rang. He checked. It was Hazel. His eyes were a little watery, but that did not matter. Hazel had called him back. He took the call.

"Hello little hamster. How're you doing?"

Little hamster... oh Hazel. Thank you. Thank you for being there for me.

He took one quick breath in and exhaled slowly. Eliot looked up a little and closed his eyes. It was okay. It was going to be okay. He did not have to be anxious. His fears were for nothing.  They were but an illusion of his imagination. "Hazel. I think... I need your help. I screwed up."

(Guys...! We hit 6k!!!
It was quite some time now, but I hadn't uploaded anything from when we had hit the mark... now we've hit 7k<3
Going to school in a new city where I don't know a lot of people is overwhelming but also exiting! I love my new class, and I feel as though we've created a bond. Unfortunately we're all splitting up to be in new classes because we're choosing different study lines. (I choose natural sciences, obviously)
I'll still see them in the halls, but it will never be quite the same. And is far as I know, my class is super boring.. but I hope that I just need to see it from a different angle and get to know the people in my upcoming class. Never judge a book by its cover. Even though I'm totally doing that right now...)
Have a happy autumn dear reader of mine, and may you have a healthy day ahead<3)

.