January. // z.m. au

Chapter 58

Electric Love | BØRNS
Zayn's POV ― 3 years later

I was nervous. I was so nervous that I was surprised I hadn't been sweating bullets, surprised at how calm and collected I seemed on the outside. Of course I knew that Louis could tell I was trembling on the inside like a shock of electricity had been jolted through my body, but of course he did, he was like a brother to me. I'd expect that much from him.

I wasn't nervous because I was scared of what the outcome of my decisions would be, but scared because of what I was doing. It was something that I'd thought long and hard about (because God knows that I was a heavy thinker) for a long time, and yeah. I was completely, one hundred percent sure of my choices and there was no way I was going to go back.

One thing I've gotten better at during my five year relationship (and hopefully more to come) with January was to not second guess myself all the time. And really, she was to blame for that. Not to blame so much really, but to help. It'd been a good thing for me, though. I wouldn't ever deny that. And I'd always thank her for that, too.

"Relax, yeah?" Louis clasped a hand on my shoulder. I turned slightly to glance at him, deeply breathing in and out after he gestured me to do so.

Although he was typically not one to show off his serious side a lot, when he did, like he was now, it was nice to see. I knew he wasn't always the prankster he always was (even though he still kind of was despite our getting older), it was a good sight to see when he was the opposite. Plus, he was pretty good at cheering people up and getting them to calm down when he needed to, believe it or not.

I shook my arms out in front of me, almost as if I were trying to rid the nerves from my trembling fingertips, before stuffing my hands into the front pockets of my jeans and nodding my head.

"Yeah," I said to Louis. "Relax. I can do that."

Because I could definitely do that. But then the more I thought about where we were, the more unsettling my stomach felt. Not in a bad way, though. In an oddly weird, good way, if that made any sense at all. It was an off putting excitement somewhat, something I couldn't exactly explain correctly.

I leaned against the glass showcase Louis and I were stood before, trying to distract myself for what was soon to come. I thought about everything I'd been through these past few years, thought about how happy I was, truly happy, and how I didn't think I'd be happier with anyone else, in any other place. I tried to stop myself from grinning subconsciously to save myself from giving Louis an opportunity to poke fun at me, but I was sure he would find a way to do so on his own regardless of the current situation. Because, come on. This was Louis we were talking about, so it was bound to happen.

Just as I was starting to get too into my own thoughts, a voice coming from behind me, cutting my thinking short. Louis and I turned around to see the saleswoman that was helping us before back again.

"Here you are," she said, smiling sweetly my way. She then lifted a hand to tuck her short, brown hair behind her ear before she continued. "This is the one, yes?" She raised an eyebrow.

And once again, the nerves came tumbling back into my like a rush of harsh waves, like had absolutely no control over my body whatsoever, but it was okay. It was just really weird, if I was honest.

The lady slid the small, black box across the counter so that I could get a good look at it from a closer view. I reached forward to take it in between my hands, twisting it back and forth so that the jewelry placed inside of it glimmered under the fluorescence of the shop's dull lights every time I moved the box.

It was... surreal. Like, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that, wow, I was really doing this, and the only person that knew was Louis (and my mum of course), but other than that I was doing this all on my own without anyone else knowing of my plans. It was strange, in a way, to know that I was taking that next step in life, but I was ready. I was so sure I was. In fact, I'd never been so ready for anything else in my entire life, I didn't think.