"I need space." Those were the words Jacky said to Ryan the night before they both left for separate colleges. Now, each of them will try to learn who they are without the other. Will their paths lead them back together?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Ryan
"Are you ready for the time of your gay life?" Sam asked over dinner on Monday night, holding out her phone.
Ryan rubbed his eyes and stopped examining the "casserole" Harper had made. Of all the roommates, Harper's meals were the worst. She seemed to enjoy experimenting with the different flavors of Hamburger Helper. Jordan had the right idea being a vegetarian.
On Sam's phone was a bright pink ad with the words 18+ DRAG NIGHT SPOOKTACULAR!
"A drag show?" Ryan asked doubtfully. He'd walked by while the roommates were watching RuPaul's Drag Race, but he'd never seen a full episode.
"It'll be so fun! They hardly ever do them for under 21s. It's like singing and dancing and comedy, all in one show," Jordan said, to Ryan's surprise. Jordan, with her plain t-shirts and ponytail, hardly seemed like the kind of person who would be into the kind of glitzy costumes he'd seen glimpses of on TV.
"Seriously, drag is awesome. You're coming with us. No excuses." Sam looked over at Pete, who was shoveling casserole into his mouth. "You too."
Pete gestured to himself with raised eyebrows, his mouth too full to protest.
Sam nodded. "Yup. We need some roommate bonding time. We've never all gone out together."
"They're going to have mocktails," Jordan continued. "And it's Halloween themed, so even Harper will enjoy herself. Do you think we can wear costumes?"
Ryan took another bite of casserole to avoid having to confirm. The idea of a drag show made him nervous for some reason. He imagined a group of protesters outside, like when a nearby library had done a drag queen storytime. He imagined punching a few homophobes in the face and getting arrested. He imagined getting kicked out of Tufts for having a criminal record.
Fingers snapped in front of his face. "Earth to Ryan," Sam was saying.
"Sorry, I think I need to take a nap." He rubbed his eyes again.
"Yeah, you've been tired all weekend. Are you sick?"
Ryan could feel Sam shifting into Mama Bear mode, and he summoned up a smile. "Nah, just not sleeping very good."
"Maybe if you stopped texting all night, you'd sleep better," Pete said, scraping the last of his casserole into his mouth before reaching for seconds.
Ryan's face went hot before he could convince himself that no one knew who he was texting. He could feel everyone staring at him. How would they know it wasn't Charlie he was texting? Charlie often looked tired. And he and Charlie had never said they were exclusive. Charlie had never called Ryan their boyfriend. Ryan didn't even know if he would call Charlie his boyfriend, or if there was another, non-gendered word to use. Significant other? That sounded way too serious.
"Wow, you really do need to get some sleep," Sam said, then put her elbow on the table and jabbed a finger at Ryan. "And you'd better get it before Friday, because you're coming out with us no matter what."
Ryan held up his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay."
After dinner, Ryan did sit down on his bed to go to sleep, then remembered the reading he needed to do for physics. Then, as he was brushing his teeth before bed, his phone buzzed with a text.
I am locked out of my room and I can hear Billy having loud sex in there [vomit emoji]
Smiling, Ryan replied, I haven't had that problem yet, my roomies are all pretty chill
Lucky
It sucks, all I want is to go to sleep and instead I'm half-asleep on the couch in the lounge area next to a really enthusiastic D&D group
Ryan would have loved to text Jacky and find out what dorm life was like and what he was missing by living in an apartment, but Jacky had also brought up lack of sleep and Ryan knew he needed to say it before he got sucked into another sleepless night.
I'm super exhausted too... I would love to keep you company while you wait for Billy to finish but I really need to sleep tonight or I'm going to be a zombie
Jacky didn't respond for a few minutes, and Ryan finished up in the bathroom and got in bed, guilt starting to nibble away at his resolve. He could text Jacky for a little while, couldn't he? He suddenly hated Billy; if Billy wasn't getting lucky in their room, Jacky would have just gone to bed and Ryan wouldn't have to set boundaries.
I get it... I drank like 3 coffees today and it barely did anything
I hope you get your room back soon
I might just sleep out here all night, it's pretty comfy
Just don't let your phone die
Fuck my charger is in the room and I'm at 15%
Okay stop texting me immediately and set your alarm, then get some sleep
I love when you order me around
I'm serious!
So am I 😉
Ryan felt his resolve crumbling. But he couldn't let that happen. Monica had said something at dinner the other night, when he'd told her all about Jacky texting him. "Look, I think you and Jacky were a great couple, but he hurt you. And you can't let him weasel his way back in without apologizing for that."
Sighing, Ryan responded with a stern, Good night, Jacky.
He should have put his phone away immediately. He was just plugging it in when Jacky responded with an eggplant emoji.
No, he wasn't going to respond. But Jacky's text made him fall asleep smiling.
