Breathing Room (Waiting Room #2)

Chapter 18: Campus Events (Part 4)

Ryan

Charlie's question must have been rhetorical, or else Charlie was too mad or impatient or both to wait for Ryan to both process the question and come up with an answer. By the time the question had sunk in, Ryan turned and found Charlie gone. A few bars of a Lady Gaga song later, Ryan realized he needed to get out of this crowd and find some quiet.

He hadn't thought of his relationship with Charlie as trying to fix them. More that he didn't like seeing anyone in unnecessary pain, and he was more than willing to reach out if someone looked like they'd had a shitty day. That was all that had happened. One day he had tried to cheer Charlie up, and there had been something between them. That was normal, right?

For some reason, it made him think about Jacky, about how mean Jacky had been in the waiting room the first few times they'd both been sitting there together. And how, when Jacky had clearly been having a bad day and Ryan had offered him some help, that had been the start of things. It wasn't that Ryan wanted to fix him.

Then again, Ryan was protective. Yes, he knew Jacky could take care of himself – he had better insults than anything Ryan could come back with. But did he want to punch out anyone who looked at Jacky twice because they'd notice his sleeve was empty? Also yes.

His phone buzzed. Jacky had texted, I'm watching a real-life Cutting Edge and the only thing that would make this better is if you were here with me.

He didn't know what Cutting Edge was. It didn't matter. His thumbs flew over the phone keyboard. Did you ever feel like I was trying to fix you?

Fix me? How?

Ryan thought about that. Before he could figure it out, Jacky continued, You can't regrow my arm.

Sorry, never mind. It was just something Charlie said.

The sky was getting dark beyond the bright lights of the park. Despite the people milling around, Ryan felt oddly alone.

I mean, I was pretty shut down until you came along, Jacky texted with a winky face. But we were both in therapy. I think we fixed each other, don't you?

There was an empty bench near a fried dough truck, and Ryan made his way to it and sat down and re-read Jacky's texts. We fixed each other. The relief uncoiling in his gut told him it was true. Maybe Ryan was overprotective, but he had also built up walls to keep people out, make everyone think his life was perfect and his mom wasn't dying of cancer.

Ryan's phone buzzed, making him aware that he hadn't answered Jacky.

Did you have a talk with Charlie?

Sort of... They happened to be here and I tried, but they said that and walked away

Oh man, that must have been awkward

Ryan pressed the phone to his forehead. A strange protective instinct had surged, wanting Jacky to stop talking about Charlie before he said something that would make Ryan mad. He needed that moment to remember that this was Jacky, a person who, until that fateful day at the end of summer, had been someone Ryan knew almost as well as himself.

Another buzz.

Almost as awkward as watching Billy try to make Braedyn jealous and vice versa. I wish you were here so we could show them what a functional relationship looks like

Taking a deep breath, Ryan prepared himself to effectively ruin Jacky's night. 

Jacky

Could I call you later to talk about what our relationship is, exactly?

Jacky stared down at his phone for so long that apparently Billy had called his name multiple times. "Uh, hello, earth to Jackass?"

"What?" Jacky asked, blinking.

Billy stood there, his sparkly shirt open one button too many. He was sweating and missing a certain Greek fake date. "Whaddya mean, what? Did you not see Braedyn try to impress me? Correction: Braedyn did impress me. Where is he, so I can gush over him?"

"Uh, I don't know." Braedyn had been right beside him a minute ago. Or maybe several minutes. Jacky hadn't been paying attention while he was texting Ryan. Now he had a feeling that Braedyn had been untying his skates the whole time and had gone home after getting zero response from Jacky. How was he supposed to know what was going on, when Ryan wanted to talk about their relationship, which was code for he wanted to break up?

"Some wingman you are! Where's Liliana? Why am I always fixing everyone's love life and no one is here to support me?" Billy huffed and looked around.

Jacky looked back down at his phone. The screen had gone black. Would it be weird to call Ryan right now? He started unlacing his ice skates.

"Where are you going? I need your help!"

Ripping off one skate, Jacky unleashed on Billy. "What do you need my help with, ruining everything? All you have to do is fucking talk to the guy. Com-mun-i-cate. That's all. It's fucking simple."

Billy laughed, a single loud, "Ha!" then straightened up. "And you're the one who's going teach me about communication? This whole semester you'd been a mopey bastard all because you couldn't communicate with your boyfriend."

"I'm going to go communicate with him right now," Jacky snarled, ripping off his other skate. He stood up, his socks immediately soaking up the icy cold water on the floor. "So fuck you!"

"Not until you pull that stick out of your ass." Billy batted his eyelashes.

Jacky growled, grabbed his shoes, and stomped toward the door. He stormed past Liliana, who had two brightly colored drinks in hand.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked. He ignored her.

As he passed the concessions stand, he caught Braedyn out of the corner of his eye, turning with two more drinks. "Are you leaving?" he asked.

Jacky didn't answer. He waited until he got out the door before pulling over to the side and shoving his feet into his sneakers. People passed him, some staring, most completely ignoring him. By the time he finally got his shoes on over his nasty wet socks, he was blinking back tears of frustration.

Somewhere in the back of his head he knew it was a bad idea to call Ryan. He should calm down first. Ryan was out at a fair with his friends, and he had specifically mentioned calling later to talk about things.

Jacky called him. 

___

How do you think this is going to go?