"I need space." Those were the words Jacky said to Ryan the night before they both left for separate colleges. Now, each of them will try to learn who they are without the other. Will their paths lead them back together?
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Ryan
Ryan couldn't help it: he felt guilty.
He felt guilty every time he was at football practice rather than studying. He felt guilty every time he laughed with his teammates rather than missing his mom.
He felt guilty whenever he was drinking rather than studying. He felt guilty whenever he was having fun with his roommates and playing video games or watching movies rather than missing his mom.
He especially felt guilty lying in bed, texting with Jacky and not thinking about Charlie. Or his mom.
It had been something he used to talk to Jacky about, back in high school. They might be making out or doing more, and the moment Ryan felt happy, he would also feel sad. How many countless times had he broken down crying mid-sex that Jacky had to comfort him?
Ryan knew his mom would want him to be happy and not spend all his time studying, but he couldn't help it. He didn't really have anyone he trusted to talk to about things like that. Pete was too busy, and he didn't want to burden Charlie. Charlie had enough problems.
Like right now. Charlie had texted that they had been having a shitty day and wanted to come over and get away from "roommate drama." Ryan's phone had buzzed with a text that he just knew was from Jacky, but they were sitting on the couch with their heads close together, and Charlie explaining it all. "She keeps saying it's just a phase but, like, it's my identity. She basically called me straight because I'm dating you."
Ryan bit back his first instinct to offer Charlie a place to stay here. He couldn't keep up whatever he was doing with Jacky if Charlie lived here. Even though he felt like a therapist saying it, he said, "It sounds like she doesn't respect you."
"Yes!" Charlie agreed, and continued talking, even as Ryan's mind wandered to the idea of going to therapy himself again. He could sense how overwhelmed he was getting with everything, especially now that his classes were fully underway. He had continued going to see Dr. Burns all through his senior year and the summer before college. Not having a therapist to see every week had felt freeing at first.
"I'm just worried things are going to get as bad as they were last year, and then I worry that if this has happened more than once, then it's not my roommates, it's me," Charlie sighed, sagging.
Ryan hated seeing Charlie so down. He wrapped them up in his arms and offered what words couldn't.
A short time later, Harper came home, and Charlie wiped their eyes and began telling Harper about what was going on. Harper offered to murder her roommate, and Ryan took that moment to go to the bathroom and check his phone.
Currently trapped in an elevator
Ryan responded immediately, even though he could see the text had been sent about ten minutes earlier. Are you ok???
