Over time I came to realize that my issues stemmed from something different than just lust. It came from a lack of intimacy and loneliness. When I didn't spend time with God or was alone by myself I fell into sin more easily then when I had spent time during my day with Jesus or broke away from school work to spend some time with my family for a little while. The cycle is quite simple.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
You need to become aware of what triggers you as well as your habits of preparation. For me the trigger is romantic movie scenes, passionate scenes. Not physical but when you can feel that burn, the tension, the intimacy. Often just kissing scenes I have to avoid. Yes I love romantic movies but I am learning that some of then I will need to cut out. Even the sexual innuendos hidden in children's shows. I dislike the fact I've lost my innocence, that my mind is dirty enough to know what they mean.
I know that God can bring back my innocence but the path is hard. It takes one step at a time. We are in God's race but it doesn't mean we have to sprint the whole time, just as long as we keep walking. That's what counts.
One of the ways to start is to recognize your preparation. It may involve being alone, having your phone in bed, just being on a electronic, reading something or watching something that triggers you. Break that preparation. Don't follow those rituals. Even if that means downgrading to a "dumb", installing blockers to sites, having a accountability software like Covenant eyes, not being online alone, or having time controls. It could involve not watching certain movies, shows, and getting rid of some books. It's better than risking temptation.
Desiring intimacy is not wrong. It's just the ways we sometimes seek it that can be wrong. I will continue addressing this in a later chapter.
Thanks for reading. I hope this advice helps! Praying for you all!
