15. Coming to Terms

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"You know..." Vivian mumbled, hands on the steering wheel of her jet. "I realised something, after the containment incident."

"What?" Syndrome sighed, slumped on the chair in the back in sollom defeat. 

"You've never once told me you loved me."

Syndrome froze, shame rising inside of him, and his first instinct was to come up with an excuse, any excuse. But if he did that, he was sure that he would lose her.

"I know." He admitted, almost whispering into the space. 

Vivian frowned, not able to see him from her captain's position. But she could hear his voice, and how defeated he sounded. 

"Why haven't you?" Vivian wondered. "Do you not love me?"

"No, no. I do." Buddy stammered. "I just... I don't know, Viv. It's difficult-"

"It's difficult?" Vivian raised her brow. "After half a decade together, and almost having a baby. Telling me that you love me is difficult?"

Buddy groaned, obviously not feeling like starting an argument. "Forget it."

"No, I won't forget it." Vivian denied. "Be honest with me. What makes it difficult?"

All Vivian heard was him grumbling something, refusing to give a proper response. Turning the autopilot on, Vivian confronted him by sitting directly in his field of view, in the chair opposite of him. Now, it would be a lot harder for him to ignore her.

"Tell me, what makes it so difficult?" Vivian pressed. "I've told you that I love you many, many, times. It's not difficult for me, so why is it for you?"

"Forget it, Vivian." Buddy grumbled, still avoiding her gaze.

"No, I won't." She refused. "What is it? Do you think loving me is some weakness, that you won't be the big bad villain seeking his revenge, if you have a woman at home who loves you? Is that why you like pushing me away so much? Is this about some image you're trying to keep up-"

"It would kill me if something happened to you, okay?!" Buddy snapped, throwing his hands up in frustration. "That's why I've never- why I can't... forget it."

Vivian raised her brow. "It sure didn't look like that in the containment unit."

Groaning, Buddy held the bridge of his nose like he had a migraine. He looked frustrated out of his mind, and normally she would let him be in moments like these, but not this time. The pressure of her pushy questions were getting to him, and she kept prodding until he finally bursted.

"What did you want me to do, huh?" Buddy mocked. "Did you want me to start panicking? Cry as I begged him to spare you life? You think that giving him that power over me would've saved your life?"

Vivian glared. "No. What I wanted you to do is at least acknowledge my presence afterwards, instead of pretending like everything was normal. It's not about you 'having it under control' or not. It's about the fact that you treated me like one of your robots, a replacable object without any feelings, instead of your partner!"

"You were okay-"

"I've never been more scared in my life!" Vivian pushed. "You don't understand what it felt like, to know that any moment he could squeeze a bit too tight and literally kill me. Never once did you ask me if I was okay, even though I threw up the second we left the room!"

...

"I'm sorry." Buddy sighed. "I should've- I should've helped you, I know that. I was just..."

"Too caught up in revenge?" Vivian finished for him. "Or too desperate to stay in control?"

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