43. Thrown away

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Why wouldn't he be full of himself? He's the crown prince, after all. That's what he's been his entire life, every single moment until now. Whenever he breathes, there are people wishing that he didn't and people wishing that he would. Whenever he says something, there are thousands, perhaps even millions of people awaiting his every word. He is the crown prince, the shining future of the fairy kingdom and the strongest, mightiest, most influential fairy in the entire middle realm.

And then there is his father. The one fairy higher than him. The one fairy who has the right to decide what happens with him, if people should listen to him, if people should follow him, and if he's the future or not. Novus is above him, Novus still holds the throne and the power. Maybe, for a moment, Nayan had forgotten that. It's hard not to when the family's entire survival and future always seems to lean on his shoulders. When the people look up to him and not to Novus. When he is the sane one. But Novus is still at a higher position than he is, and Nayan should've remembered that.

Now it's too late. He wasn't playing carefully enough. Perhaps these past few years have all been leading up to this. Every single misstep, every single time he's stood up against his father, every single time he has allowed his father to put the blame on him, every single time he has ignored his orders, or went somewhere without an order. All those tiny moments, those small fractions of independence and responsibility that Nayan thought were already part of his life, part of his job, must've led to this.

Must've led to his dethronement.

And now he's walking down the spiral hallway of his father's wooden palace, his ears ringing and eyesight blurring over. He can't remember how he's gotten here. When did he leave his father's study? Where is he going? But all that really matters now is the ultimate question, the question he always has to ask himself. What will he do now? Except, of course, that question has never held such an important weight as it does now.

There are a thousand things he needs to figure out. His father has, once again, put him in an impossible situation. Choosing between letting Chepi suffer or suffer yourself, that was the first choice he had to make. Naturally, he picked the second option, and even though it hurt him, it wasn't a hard choice to make. Choosing between letting Chepi stay or letting her and everyone else suffer, that was the second choice, and this time it became more impossible. But he made a choice anyway, and moved on with his life like a good ruler must.

But now?

Choose between letting it all go, or continuing the fight. Either, he can grip to the throne like a madman out for power, or, he can let it go to one of his siblings and watch this entire thing fall out from some backwater cottage in the woods. He can be free, but hidden and alone, or fight against his father for the throne before someone else makes a claim to it, but continue this constant stream of stress and bloodshed.

Somehow, this is the most impossible choice of them all. Why does his life always have to be so difficult? His father is disliked and crazy, but still too powerful to stand up against. His mother is psychographic and cold towards her own blood. His sister is a fairy with the biggest target in three thousand years on her head. He has pushed away anyone normal around him to not let himself be distracted by these huge issues, Miriam, his brothers, his friends...

And on top of it all, he has somehow managed to make friends with the regent of the goblin kingdom, his enemy kingdom, and then somewhat betrayed that friendship, all in a span of a few weeks. Either he's the problem, or the people around him have some serious issues. Nayan is too caught up with the thousands of voices that buzz in his head to even give it the thought that it deserves.

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