Admit That It Hurts You

Chapter 4

(Jessica pov)

June-6th-2019
Los Angeles📍

Jessica: "I'm such a fucking stupid ass idiot, of course she was going to say no to me, I'm stupid, I'm so fucking stupid!!"

I lay against my bed holding my knees close for thinking she would like me back or consider it. I was wrong, I put myself out there and that was my mistake.

Jessica's thoughts: "Why did I think she would say yes!?"

The flight back to Los Angeles was the most awkward thing I had to go through in my life sitting there next to her. I looked like a complete fucking idiot and she knew.

Jessica's thoughts: "I'm really flattered, I really am Jessica but I don't like you in that way...I'm not into women, I'm sorry, but hey I have fun being around you, we can still be friends."

Jessica: "Ya right you want to be friends with a girl who still has feelings for you."

I haven't talked to her since we got back from Miami. She didn't do anything wrong but I can't face her again after telling her how I felt.

I continue to sit in my room with sad music playing. At least one thing did help my case, school was out for the summer, so I won't have to see her again.

Jessica's thoughts: "At least I won't have to worry and run into her."

I start to cry thinking that I could've just kept those feelings so I could still be with her. I hate How easily I get attached to people I care about. 3 months with her, why did I tell her?

~1 hour later~

I finally got out of my room to get ready for work. I get dressed, eat a snack and pick up my phone to see messages from Valerie. Still not able to talk to her at all, I ignore the messages and go to work.

Restaurant📍

At work all I could think about was her and what I did. The love confession, the part where she said we can still be friends. What did I expect? I played that moment in my head 100s of times, I knew she was going to say that. I was prepared as well, so why does it hurt?

Waitress: "Jessica!! Hello!?"

Jessica: "What!? Sorry I'm here!!, I'm here!!"

Waitress: "Stop daydreaming, we have a huge party coming in today, and the order for table 17 is ready."

Jessica: "Okay sorry on my way, won't happen again."

I got back to work and I made sure to distract myself from Valerie. That brought me back with Faith and how she used to work here, made me wonder what she would do in a situation like this.

Jessica's thoughts: "How would u handle this Faith?"

Waitress: "Have you seen the video of Faith."

Waitress: "I know it's all over, she was the one who wanted to date a freaking celebrity, girl got the fame she wanted, can't blame her I would date Ariana too."

Waitress: "She's hot yes but seriously she could've handled that shit better, kinda almost assaulted that guy, and broke his property!!"

Waitress: "Who knew she had that in her seriously, she knows how to put on that nice girl act very well."

I overheard my co-workers talk about Faith. I lean in to hear better. Catching everything they were saying, and couldn't believe she would do that but I remember her bruised up before.