Where The Devil Don't Go

Sam - Six

Imagine: having a nightmare and finding comfort in Sam...

Fear grips you, clawing at your chest. The tightening of your chest. The cold sweats. The vivid dreams of everyone you know and love dying. The pain in your palms as your nails dig into them. But the worst part is the lack of sleep. Every night, sleep evades you. You lay for hours, staring up at the dark ceiling in your bedroom. Every time you close your eyes the nightmares start. There are nights when you fall asleep only after being awake for longer than you can recall. It is the kind of sleep deprivation that is painful. You would sleep for not very long, and then awake as if you were breathing for the first time, as if your body was deprived of oxygen.

You take a deep breath as slip out of bed. The cold floor stings your feet, but you relish in the pain. It means you are awake. Safe, for the time being. You shrug on a long, soft cardigan and step out into the dark hallway. You often find yourself wandering the corridors of the bunker. Finding new hiding places, new rooms filled with files or weapons. But tonight, you find yourself hesitating at Sam's door. His lamp is on, and you can hear him walking around.

You raise your fist to knock on his door, but it swings open before your knuckles make contact with the door.
"(Y/N)."
"Sam."
You both speak at the same time.
"What are you?"
"Can I?"
Sam laughs and you grin widely at him.
"Do you want to come in?" He asks.
You nod, following Sam into his room.
He's wearing a grey loose fitting shirt with black joggers, and you watch his muscles flex as he moves the books off his bed.
"Nightmare?" Sam asks, his kinds eyes meet your gaze.
"How did you know?" You question, sitting down on the bed.
Sam shrugs. "I know you, (Y/N). And I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not." He sits next to you. "I can hear you walking around at night. You're not your normal self." He places a large hand on your knee, and your breath hitches in your throat.
"They aren't that bad."
"Don't lie to me, (Y/N). I care about you too much. You need to start caring for yourself, or you're going to get hurt."

You stare down at your hands as your fingers play with each other.
"I can't sleep." You whisper, and Sam's hand squeezes your knee. "Every time I close my eyes ... you all die. Dean, Cas, Jodie, Claire, you. I have to watch as you are all killed over and over. By demons, werewolves, vampires, me." Tears prick at your eyes. "I'm scared that it's all going to come true."
Sam remains silent as your revelations sink in.
"When did these nightmares start?"
"About a month ago. After the hunt with the vampires, the one where you and Dean nearly died because of me."
Sam scoffs. "(Y/N), we didn't nearly die because of you. You saved us."
"But I gave you the wrong information."
He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. We go in blind all the time."
You stay silent. Not believing Sam's words. It was your fault, you know it, Dean knows it, Sam deep down knows it.

Sam clears his throat, and he hesitantly puts his arm around your shoulder and pulls you towards him. You take comfort in his warmth. You breathe in and smell old books and leather. For months you have been pining over Sam. His kindness and strength never falters no matter what he goes through. You love him. You love his smile, his mind, his hair. You love everything about him.

"(Y/N), you know that you can always talk to me, right?"
You nod, tears still falling down your cheeks. Sam slips off the bed, and kneels down in front of you, so you are eye level to each other. His large, but soft hands cup your cheeks, and his fingers gently wipe away your tears.
"Sam." You whisper.
He searches you (E/C) eyes, and you smile at him as he leans forward. His lips brush yours and your eyes flutter closed. In that kiss was the sweetness of passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a moment. We are our pure and vulnerable selves.

You move your hands into his hair, running your fingers through his mouse brown locks.
"I've been wanting to do that for ages." He whispers, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Well don't stop now." You laugh.
Sam grins, leaning forward and connecting your lips. He stands up, moving one hand to your waist and you carefully lay back on the bed.
"I don't think I'll be having any nightmares tonight." You laugh, allowing Sam to comfort you in ways you never though possible.