Where The Devil Don't Go

Castiel - Five

Imagine: human Castiel getting angry because he can't heal you after you were in a car accident.

You lie in the car, your cheek pressed against the car door handle. You drift slowly back to consciousness. You want only to sleep. You shift your position and feel the pain in your cheekbone where it lies against the metal door. Your whole body aches. Your arms and your legs and most of all your head – there is a terrible pounding pain in your head. All the pain makes you want to go back to sleep. You push yourself up on one elbow, open your eyes, and retch, vomiting all over your shirt. You taste sour bile and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. Your head throbs; you feel dizzy and seasick as if the world is moving as if you are rocking back and forth on a boat. You groan, and roll onto your back, turning away from the puddle of vomit. The pain in your head makes you breathe in short, shallow gasps. And you feel sick. You open your eyes and look around, trying to get your bearings. You are inside your truck. But the truck must have flipped over on its side, because you are lying on your back against the passenger door, looking up at the steering wheel and beyond at the branches of a tree, moving in the wind. The rain has nearly stopped, but water drops still fall on you through the broken front windshield. You stare curiously at the fragments of glass. You can't remember how the windshield had broken.

Your whole body feels as if every cell has broken. Your head throbs terribly, and every limb is stiff. What the hell happened? You can't remember anything. You try and open your eyes, but a bright light is shining directly in your eyes.
"Am I dead?" You manage to croak out.
"Not yet, but Cas is on his way and he is pissed, so you might be soon." Dean comments from the chair next to your hospital bed.
His foot is propped on your bed and he's eating orange Jell-O. He looks fairly chill, considering you are lay in a hospital bed.
"Is that my Jell-O?" You question.
He shrugs, throwing the empty Jell-O pot into the bin.
"You weren't going to eat it. You've been out for four days."
"Whatever." You mutter as you try to sit up.
A sharp pain shoots through your body and your cry out. You glance down and notice your right leg is elevated and in a cast. Both of your arms are also in casts.
"What the hell even happened?" You question, slightly panicked.
"You were in a car crash on the way to the hunt. As soon as the hospital rang us, I rushed over, and Sam went to the Bunker to pick up Cas." He looks down at his hands, his face dropping into a serious frown. "You scared us."
"Well, I am naturally terrifying."
"This isn't a laughing matter. (Y/N). We thought you were going to die! Castiel is furious."
"Yeh, you've mentioned." You roll your eyes. "Why is he pissed? I'm the one who was in an accident."
"He feels helpless because he lost his grace. He wanted to be here three days ago. But he's had to wait for Sam and then he wanted to heal you. He thinks it's his fault because of the argument you had before you left."
Tears prick at your eyes. Of course, it isn't Castiel's fault. He didn't even want you to go on the hunt and the two of you had a heated argument. You were supposed to leave in the morning, but you stormed off after the fight.
"It wasn't his fault." You mutter.
Dean shrugs. "That's not what he thinks." He pauses. "I'm going to go get a coffee. You want anything?"
You shake your head as you lie back in your bed. All you can think about is the argument you had with Cas. The things you said. The things he said. The things you can't take back.

"How's she doing?" A voice asks quietly.
"She seems a little shaken, but otherwise ok." Dean answers. "How's Cas?"
Sam sighs deeply. "Honestly? He's tearing himself apart. He loves (Y/N) so much and it's killing him to see her like this. He's so used to swooping in and healing us."
"Let's give them some space. We should finish the hunt."
You hear them walk off, but you keep your eyes closed and pretend to be asleep. You don't want to face Castiel yet. You can sense that he is sitting next to you, he brings a calming presence to the room.

"(Y/N), I know you're awake." Cas says.
You open one eye and smile softly at Cas. He's sat in the same chair Dean was sat in, but he's moved it closer to the bed. Worry is etched onto his face and you feel his feathery touch on your fingertips.
"Hey." You whisper.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm ok." You grip his fingers. "How are you?"
"I'm not the one lying in a hospital bed." He retorts shortly.
You roll your (E/C) eyes dramatically.
"I was so worried, (Y/N). How could you have been so stupid?"
You glare at him in shock as he pulls his hand away from yours.
"Hey! I didn't mean to fall into a coma for four days!"
"You should have listened to me! I told you not to go, and now look you're lying broken in a hospital bed! If you hadn't stormed off in a strop this never would have happened." He jumps up from his seat, kicking his chair across the room, and starts pacing wildly. "You could have died! I could have lost you and there isn't a damn thing I could have done about it because I'm useless now!"
"Stop." You barely whisper as tears fall down your face in little rivers.
"I-I should have stopped you. I should have done something more."
"Cas, stop!" You manage to exclaim louder through the tears.

He stops his pacing, and his blue eyes settle on your tear-stained face. You watch helplessly as he takes his time to calm down, as he slows his breathing, and calms his voice.
"I'm sorry, (Y/N)." He eventually says after minutes of silence.
"I'm sorry too." You reply. "I shouldn't have stormed off. I was just so mad at the time and I didn't want to say something I'd regret. I've never been one who effectively deals with her emotions. It's a Winchester thing. We all storm off after arguments."
Cas gingerly makes his way over to the fallen chair and moves it back to its previous position. His hand finds yours and he smiles.
"I love you, (Y/N), and I never want to lose you."
Your heart flutters and you feel as if your smile could light up the room.
"I love you, Cas." You reply.

A few hours pass as you and Castiel talk idly, just enjoying each other's company. Your brothers eventually return from the hunt, but you don't hear them arrive.
"I see you two kissed and made up." Dean smirks as he enters the room.
You roll your eyes and turn to Sam.
"How are you feeling?" He asks, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.
"Fine. A bit sore, but I'm just pissed you left me behind again." You fake frown.
"Your spine was the encyclopaedic definition of 'not remotely functional', of course, you had to stay behind."
"I still should have gone with you."
"If you're going to continue being this ridiculous I'm getting someone to up your meds."
"I'm just saying." You defend yourself. "Anyway, when can I go home? I'm pretty sure this isn't covered on our non-existence insurance."
"We'll keep you here a few more days as punishment." Dean grins.
You glare at him and turn to Cas.
"This is where you smite my bothers and we go on that holiday we always talk about."