Anti-Hero(Jordan Li)

Fake Smiles and Bathroom Dresses

I sit in my dorm room eating a box of cake and with a soda and some skittles while looking at Supernatural because of Dean and Sam can't fix it no one can.

"Get up."

"Go away." I say to the mirror. "It could be worse." "My parents are deadbeats I practically killed my brother and my twin is dead." I state. "Congrats you're an orphan and only child." I glare at the mirror and it breaks. "Hey! That's seven years of bad luck!" "How much worse can my life possibly get. The family I've hoped is fucking dead!" I shout. "Well you could talk to Marie." "She's with Dean Shetty." I say throwing away the third can of soda I've chugged.

"Well you can't sit around and get fat. Dont you have football practice today?" "I cancelled it. I'm captain after all." I answer. "God you're sad. Why not go try and make Jordan's life a living hell. Oh wait you already did last night." "No! That was you! I just didn't stop you!" I state. She sighs heavily. I laugh out loud "I must be crazy. I'm talking to myself." "What'd I say about calling yourself that? You're not crazy. Just..." "Sick." I chuckle.

I sniff. "But you're right. I can't feel sorry for myself. Even though it's what I deserve." I stand up. "That's...technically the attitude I want. Now go out something that says you can look but I'm off limits." She states. I walk over to the rack of clothes.

"God I'm so lucky we have the body for this." I chuckle as I walk down the yard. I look around for Marie since she said to meet her here before I left. Instead my eyes land on Cate. I walk over to her. "Seriously?" "I'm only doing this to see if she'll tell me."

"Hey Roomie." I greet before I sit down. "Camryn." She looks back at her phone. Ooh was that chill or did it just get like 50 degrees cooler. "I didn't see you when I got up this morning." "I left at 10."  She states. I smack my lips. "True. I was having one hell of a night." "I know." I look at her with wide eyes. "You do?" "Yep thank god you and Marie single-handedly stopped that monsters 'murderous frenzy.'" She states. "O...you saw that?" I ask her.

I'll look at my lap and play with my hands. "I'm really sorry. But it wasn't me. The Emo me took over and she said all that stuff. I know Luke wasn't-" "no that's just it. You didn't know Luke. How funny he was, how much he loved his family." Her words cut me really deep. It's true. And I'll never get to know him. Not anymore. I shove back tears and let her talk.

"But shades of gray don't sell like black and white do they?" "Cate...I am...so so sorry." I say softly. I reach for her hand but she pulls away making me flinch. I take my eyes away from her and pick up my bag and walk away from her.

I cross my arms over my chest as tears trail down my face. I make my way to the bathroom in the cafeteria avoiding people who ask for selfies. I open the door and see two girls talking. They look at me as I enter. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" I shout. They grab their shit and leave. I lock the door and turn the water on.

I place my arms on the sink and look in the mirror. I start smiling. "Come on more believable." I try again with teeth. "What are you a serial killer?" "Would you please shut up!" I shout. The stall door opens and I look in the mirror and see Jordan. "What? Never seen someone cry in the bathroom before?" "Nope. Just shocked to see someone as shameless as you crying in one. What your lip gloss didn't match your outfit?" My lip trembles violently. "Fuck you Jordan!" Shit. Wait. Cam- Camryn I didn't mean-" they try to grab me and I shove them away and leave the bathroom.

I walk out to the cafeteria and grab a beignets and some pizza bites. "No!" Marie takes the tray of foot and sets it aside. I moan. She shoves me back. "No no no I want the beignet!" She grabs it and hands it to me and turns me around. "Come on. We need to find outfits." I hum confused. "For what?" "There's a party tonight. For Brink. The #ThinkBrink party." My mouth opens and closes. "Oh god you're not gonna be able to make it are you?" "No no I can! I can make it! I just need to watch Ruby Cruz and Stiles Stilinki and Void Stiles on TikTok a few times." I tell her. I don't wanna be the sad chick who can't keep it together. I need sponsors and the votes. "Are you sure?" "Yes. Yeah. I can do it. Please Marie." I beg. "If you cry even once we're going back to the dorms and watching those kid falling videos you like so much." I chuckle softly. "Okay. I promise I won't." "Alright let's go." I smile as she takes my hand and we go back to the room.

Me Marie and Dean Shetty walk into the party together. Paparazzi take photos of us as we walk in. I put on my best smile and link arms with Marie. "See best behavior." I say smiling at the cameras. All this for Brink. It's amazing. "She's even more perfectly imperfect in person." "They're talking about you." I tell Marie. "She looks like a princess." "And they're talking about you." I grin a little. Okay so maybe this is making me feel better about bit. "Too bad they only like the versions of you that you put on for the cameras." I ignore Emo Cam's comment and focus not the bigger picture the crowd.

Me and Mari stand back to back and smile for the cameras. She moved back and motions to me and my dress. I giggle and twirl a little and then pose with hand on my hip. Then I give her the spotlight and she smiles at me. How did I get so lucky to have her in my life. I don't know what I'd do without her.

"Your folks must be so proud." A man states. "Oh over the moon." I lie with a bright smile. "Oh yeah my dad's always bragging to the guys at his pickup games." "And my family won't shut up about it." I state. "Are they here?" They asks. "No. They're both in Cameron. Doctors Without Borders." "As are mine. Our families are very close." We answer. "Here's my card."

"To be frank, after this Golden Boy mess,I'm not sure how much I'm pledging." Marie glances at me but I keep smile. "I'll you always say Bonnie, the focus on white male heroes is problematic. If you want more like Marie and Cam I need your help." "I don't know if either of you have representation yet, but here's my card." She hands it us.

We got so many offers tonight I wish my dress had pockets. Jesus Christ sucking up to people takes the life out of you. Dean Shetty takes three drinks from a tray and hands them to us. "Pretend I don't know your age." "Don't gotta tell me twice." I say drinking lightly. "You two did great." She states. "You think?" I ask. "Yeah. Lying about families felt pretty shitty." "These people don't want to hear the truth, and you don't want to say it." She tells me. "Right..."I trail off as I see a male Jordan walk past me glaring at me with who I'm assuming are their parents. "Lucky Jordan doesn't have laser." She comments. "I have to go to the bathroom. Marie?" I hold my hand out and she follows me.

We go into the bathroom. We freeze when we see Emma. I look between her and Marie. Awkward. I walk to the stall and try to sit with my dress. "Pretty dresses." She compliments. "Thanks." "Nice...hair." I say struggling in the background. "Could uh...could somebody help me pee in it?" They walk over to the big stall with me in it. They help lift my dress up so I can pee. Making all of us super close. "Oh god." I say as some of the dress gets in my mouth.

I look away from both of them and try to pee. "Want me to run the water or something?" Emma asks. I shake my head. I squeeze my eyes shut to try and focus. "Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee." I chant. "I'm really sorry Emma." Marie apologizes. Really they're gonna do this while we're practically in the weirdest sex position possible?

"No I mean...for everything. I don't want to just be roommates. And I don't pity you." "Pity?" "Long story. Learn to check your phone." Emma states. "Like at all. I wish I was like you. You're fuckin badass. And I...I know this probably too little too late." She hugs her which in turn hugs me. "Awe. This is so cute. But can it wait till after I-" she shushes me. Then oddly enough I start peeing. "Huh."