It's So Izzy (Duzzy)

chapter 21

05:45

When Adler woke up that morning, he discovered that it would not be easy to get out of bed.
The sun's rays invaded the crack in the window and went straight into the blonde's eyes, blinding him.
the sky was still a bit dark when steven mumbled, finally opening his eyes. His arms hurt, his head was pounding, and his mouth was so dry it hurt to even open it.

Steven tried to lift his body, stepping back as soon as he felt the back of his arms. Steven, after a few attempts, finally managed to lean back against the wall, gasping in pain. The blonde looks at his wrists, wrapped in a bandage that should have been redone a long time ago, but Steven hasn't changed it, wouldn't even change it. He started ripping off the bandages, he felt angry, he wanted to pull his hair and he kept repeating "stupid, stupid, you idiot!" After ripping everything off angrily Steven looks at his exposed wrists, gasps and lets them position themselves on his lap again, then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath again.
wishing his existence was just a delusion.

but Steven really existed, he was real and he knew it, and being alive hurt like hell.
Steven had tried not to think about anything, had tried to make drugs and drink and sex keep his mind occupied, because in the end his greatest fear was being left alone with his thoughts, with the comforting sound of silence.

But now, that was no longer enough. Steven used cocaine, until it stopped working perfectly. Then he found heroin, something he spent a lot of time on. During all the other attempts, he had had a very bad time, but now, it apparently had an effect.
heroin was taking a toll on him, girls no longer responded to him in clubs, at least not the strippers and women who were being paid to meet his needs. He had difficulty playing, arriving on time, interacting and responding, but at least it kept it quiet.

but it starts to fail over time, and steven had tried, he had tried with all his body and soul to make it work, whether by increasing the dose or changing dealers. But in the end steven knew that his body was too used to the drug to the point of not giving you any good effects.
And he couldn't stand it, he didn't want to be alone, he couldn't be alone, so he did what was necessary, he preferred to die, he preferred to die because that was exactly what he was afraid of, because deep down that was always his goal, the fights, the expulsions , the punishments, the disappointment, the things he had to do to get drugs alone on the street, the abuse.

Steven didn't want to and didn't know how to deal with any of this. He preferred to be unconscious, so he slit his wrists, hoping he would never be conscious again.

and now he found himself like this: sitting, sober, in pain, hurt. and he knew that the fault was all and only his.

he needed to get out of there.

.

Steven got up, taking a quick look at the already used needle on the floor, he opened the door and went down the stairs as quickly as possible.

"good morning stevie-boy!"
slash was standing in the kitchen, which was as filthy as ever, full of half-eaten dishes and food. His presence scared the blonde, who until then thought he was alone, he placed a hand on his heart and sighed, muttering an "oh man!"

"hey slasher" he snorted "whatcha doing?"

slash denies "nothing much"

"wanna go to the rainbow or something like that?"
he sighs looking around as he puts his hands on his waist
"sure"

Steven moves his head to all the sides, looking everywhere "I gotta get laid, im going fucking crazy."

The two boys walk down the street, walking around carefree, Steven as always greeted everyone on the street, while Slash simply pretended that the world around him didn't exist.