Love of my life

6

A/N:
This chapter has suicidal and SH mentioned in it. If you are triggered by this, I suggest you skip. I'm only mentioning it so it gets people talking to one another. If you ever have these thoughts, please talk to someone, I'm here for you all🫶🏻

Leah's POV:
It's been a few days. I've been training a lot to get my fitness up, and to get my mind off the whole shooting situation. I'm back home with Maddie, she's not really gotten out of bed for these few days, she's crying a lot and she's in a bit of pain, now where near as much though which is good. Steph and Lia have come over with stephs dog to check on Maddie, just so it's not just me pestering her.

Leah: baby? Steph and Lia are here, with Calvin.
Maddie: I'll come down later
Leah: come on babe, they want to see you
Maddie: I don't want to see anyone! Just leave me alone!
Leah: I want to help you Maddie. Just let me help you!
Maddie: just fuck off leah!

I leave the room and slam the bedroom door behind me. I hear Maddie crying, all I want to do is go in there and hold her but she doesn't want my help.

I go back downstairs and slump onto the sofa next to Lia.
Lia: she shout at you again?
I just nod and throw my head back.
Steph: she needs help Leah.
Leah: she won't let me help her. I don't know what to do.
I tear up, I hate seeing her like this, I hate not being able to help her.

Maddies POV:
Leah has just slammed the door. I don't feel anything right now. I just want everything to end. I want the pain to go, I want the arguing and fussing to stop. Why can't people just leave me alone?

I go into the en-suite and end up cutting myself. Its the only way the pain will stop. I just want it all to be over. It doesn't even hurt, I don't cry, I don't feel anything. I cover my arms and head downstairs.
Leah: babe
Maddie: I'm going
Leah: going where?
Maddie: for a walk
Leah: do you want me to come with you?
Maddie: no

I just leave, I leave my phone and my keys and just walk out of the door. With no direction, I just walk and walk and walk for hours, until it gets dark.

Leah's POV:
It's been an hour, that's long enough, I call Maddie, no answer, I call her again, no answer.
Steph; Leah.
Leah: mhm
Steph: her phone is in the kitchen
Leah: what?
Steph: her phone is here.
Leah: fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Steph: I'll ring around, see if she's ended up at one of the girls house.
Leah: she's left me.
I start crying. I ring everyone i know, Lia and Steph do the same. No one has heard from her or seen her.

It's now dark outside and she's not back yet. I call her dad, my parents, my grandma, everyone who loves her. I need everyone right now. She's left her keys and her purse here, no money, no way of contacting anyone if she needs it.

Maddies POV:
I don't even know what time it is, but it's dark, very dark. I'm currently sat on a bridge, just looking out onto the river, not knowing what to do. This is the only way to relieve the pain, right?

I hear someone shout towards me. I don't know who it is, I don't even look at them.
Maddie: just leave me alone
"No, I want to talk to you"
Maddie: to ask me if I'm okay? No just leave me alone!
"What's going on?"
Maddie: I just want it all to go away
"Want what to go away?"
Maddie: the pain
"There's other ways of doing that maddie"
I look at them. It's a police officer.
Maddie: ho-how do you know my name?
PO: because you have some very worried people out looking for you.
Maddie: tell them not to bother, their life will be so much better without me
PO: that's not true maddie. That's not true at all. Just get down from there and we can talk about it okay?

Police Officers POV:
I'm out looking for Maddie Owen, I'm riding solo at the moment when I come across someone sat on a bridge. I know it's Maddie when I get a bit closer. She's calm, too calm. I'm talking to her a little bit then I radio for backup.
PO: I've found her, I need back up
"Is she safe?"
PO: no, don't bring the family, no one she knows.
"We have to tell them"
PO: no. You hear me? No, you wait till I say so.
"Copy"

Maddie: I can't do this anymore
PO: Maddie, whatever is going on, whatever it is, I can help.
Maddie: no you can't! No one can!
PO: your mum and dad are so worried about you.
Maddie: they don't know I'm here
PO: you're right, they don't, but they are still worried, they have a lot of officers looking for you right now.
Maddie: is that why you're here? To ask if I'm okay?
PO: no. I'm here to talk to you, for you, no one else.
Maddie: I'm not okay
PO: can we talk about it?
Maddie: no
PO: we don't have to, but I'd like you to get down from there so you're safe, can you do that?
Maddie: No! Don't come any closer.
PO: okay, i won't.
Maddie: why didn't they just let me die
PO: who Maddie?
Maddie: the doctors, the police. Why did they have to save me?
PO: I don't know what happened Maddie, can you tell me?
Maddie: I got shot, in my house, by my teammates brother.
PO: and they saved your life?
Maddie: yeah, why, why do that to me?
PO: because you have a lot of people that love and care about you.
A car pulls up.
Maddie: I don't see any of them here though
Leah: I'm here! I'm here all the time babe.

Leah's POV:
I heard their radio. I get in my car and drive as fast as I can. I get to the location, I see Maddie sat on the bridge and the police officer nearby. I get out of the car and hear her say no one is here.
Leah: I'm here! I'm here all of the time.
She looks at me, for the first time in days she has tears in her eyes.
Maddie: no Leah, please just go.
Leah: I'm not going anywhere. I need you Maddie. I need you all the time.
Maddie: I'm sorry I'm doing this to you.
Leah: baby, please, let me help you, I can't live without you.
Maddie: I'm losing you Leah
Leah: no you're not, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. You are stuck with me, forever.
Maddie: I'm not worth this le, just go be happy.
Leah: I'm only ever happy with you! I'm not going anywhere without you. Please, just get down from there babe
I've kept her distracted long enough for the PO to be near enough to grab her. He doesn't yet though. I need him to but he's not.
Leah: baby please! I love you!
She looks at me again. I can see in her eyes she wants to get down. I get closer so the PO backs off. I put my hand out for her to grab. She does. I pull her to safety and she bursts out crying.
Leah: I'm here I'm here. You're safe, I've got you.
I stroke her hair and kiss her head. I tear up in relief that she's safe.
Maddie: I just want it all to go away.
Leah: I know beautiful, I know.
Maddie: can you take me home?
Leah: of course, come on.

I drive Maddie home. My heart is beating out of my chest after all of that. But I'm glad she's safe, I'm glad she's with me.
I've texted everyone to leave the house just so she's not coming home to tonnes of people. Her mum and dad have said they are staying until they see her which is fair enough.

We get home and Maddie gets out of the car. I walk in with her, my arm around her. Michael and Louise are sat on the sofa.
Michael: sweetheart!
They both jump up and hug her tightly.
Maddie: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry
Louise: we love you darling okay? We love you so much and I'm sorry neither of us noticed what was going on.
Michael: we are here for you now, whatever you need, however we can help you.
She doesn't say anything, she just hugs them tightly for a while.

An hour or so later and Maddie has gone to bed. Michael and Louise are on their way out.
Michael: you call us okay?
Leah: I will
Louise: we are here for you too Leah, don't you forget that.
Leah: I won't.
Michael: I'll pop round tomorrow
Leah: okay, see you both later.

After they have left I lock all the doors, turn all of the lights off and head upstairs. Maddie is in bed, she's awake though. I lean against the door frame and cross my arms.
Maddie: hi
Leah: hi
Maddie: what are you doing?
Leah: looking at my girlfriend
Maddie: I'm sorry babe, I'm so sorry about everything, for shouting and being horrible.
Leah: hey it's alright, you're safe and I'm going to help you okay?
Maddie: I love you.
Maddie hasnt told me she loves me in a few days. I tear up thinking she didn't anymore. I get in bed with her, she cuddles into me. I kiss her forehead over and over again.
Leah: I love you baby, I love you so so so much.