σɾɳιƚԋαʂ (ρʝσ x ɱαʅҽ σƈ)

I Go Toe-to-Toe with the God of War

Percy's POV

There he was, waiting for us, in his black leather duster and his sunglasses, an aluminum baseball bat propped on his shoulder. His motorcycle rumbled beside him, its headlight turning the sand red.

Ares: Hey, kid. You were supposed to die.

Percy: You tricked me. You stole the helm and the master bolt.

Ares: (grins) Well, now, I didn't steal them personally. Gods taking each other's symbols of power—that's a big no-no. But you're not the only hero in the world who can run errands.

Theo: Who'd you use? Clarisse? She was there at the winter solstice.

Ares: Doesn't matter. (turns to Percy) The point is, kid, you're impeding the war effort. See, you've got to die in the Underworld. Then Old Seaweed will be mad at Hades for killing you. Corpse Breath will have Zeus's master bolt, so Zeus'll be mad at him. And Hades is still looking for this...

From his pocket he took out a ski cap—the kind bank robbers wear—and placed it between the handlebars of his bike. Immediately, the cap transformed into an elaborate bronze war helmet.

Grover: The helm of darkness!

Ares: Exactly. Now where was I? Oh yeah, Hades will be mad at both Zeus and Poseidon, because he doesn't know who took this. Pretty soon, we got a nice little three-way slugfest going.

Annabeth: But they're your family!

Ares: (shrugs) Best kind of war. Always the bloodiest. Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.

Percy: You gave me the backpack in Denver. The master bolt was in there the whole time.

Ares: Yes and no. I tinkered with the magic a bit, so the bolt would only return to the sheath once you reached the Underworld. You get close to Hades...Bingo, you got mail. If you died along the way—no loss. I still had the weapon.

Theo: Why send the master bolt to Hades, then? Why not just keep it for yourself?

Ares got a twitch in his jaw. For a moment, it was almost as if he were listening to another voice, deep inside his head.

Ares: Why didn't I...yeah...with that kind of firepower...

He held the trance for a couple of seconds as I exchanged nervous looks with Theo and Annabeth. Then Ares' face cleared.

Ares: I didn't want the trouble. Better to have you caught red-handed, holding the thing.

Theo: Bullshit. Sending the bolt to the Underworld wasn't even your idea, was it?

Ares: Of course, it was!

Smoke drifted up from his sunglasses, as if they were about to catch fire.

Theo: Nah, you're too stupid to come up with a plan like that! Someone else sent a hero to steal the two items. Then, when Zeus sent you to hunt him down, you caught the thief. But you didn't turn him over to Zeus. Something convinced you to let him go. You kept the items until another hero could come along and complete the delivery. That thing in the pit is ordering you around.

Ares: I am the god of war! I take orders from no one! I don't have dreams!

Percy: Who said anything about dreams?

Ares looked agitated, but he tried to cover it with a smirk.

Ares: Let's get back to the problem at hand, kid. You're alive. I can't have you taking that bolt to Olympus. You just might get those hard-headed idiots to listen to you. So I've got to kill you. Nothing personal.