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Adi : Green Face

Green Face by Tea-pots
Reviewer : nusranathry

Summary / Blurb

The summary of the book is straight to the point -- we have the main character, Sammy, who's been feeling left out but things turn real quick when she finds herself in the faerieland and finds out things about herself that she wishes she hadn't. The conflict of the story is that Sammy isn't what she thinks she is. The girl who was supposed to be the princess, actually turns out to be the monster who's going to be the destroyer of her father's lands. With many other conflicts such as: her mother being a prisoner, a prince wanting to get rid of her existence, and another prince despising her due to previous feud that she doesn't have any memories of, Sammy has a lot of things to go through and the question is, how will she go through all that? The first part of the summary is well written, we have a main character who has conflicts to go through, and that is something that hooks the readers in. We want a character who has troubles and conflicts and we want to see how they go through all that and I think you did a good job at that.

However, the second part of the summary is a bit confusing. Since your book is currently under editing, I wasn't thinking to point this out but here's the thing: a summary plays a HUGE role in a book -- as it's the first thing a reader notices upon seeing the book so it's important to perfect the summary as much as you can. The second part of the summary, where Sammy/Adeline is having a conversation with someone, (I haven't read the whole book so I don't know who she's talking to) the whole piece is just a bit cramped. I can't really understand who's saying what because they're all cramped together and it's hard to comprehend whose dialogue is being spoken. I would advise you to edit that firstly and separate their dialogue and actions so we can understand what is actually going on.

Another advice I would like to give regarding the second part of the summary, which is completely my personal opinion, so you can skip this but this little scene of Sammy/Adeline and the other person seems a bit unnecessary to me. Don't get me wrong, but just before this part we got to know about Adeline/Sammy having an enormous amount of conflicts to go through, so, maybe it'd suit more if that scene was related to one of her conflicts? So we could know more about her character and how she is going to deal with those troubles. This scene had no correlation with the first part and seemed like something different than the main story. Or maybe this scene had something to do with her long lost lover? If that were the case, I think this scene is great but do edit this out and make the dialogues and actions more comprehensive.

Grammar / Punctuation / Vocabulary / Descriptions

Your book is currently under editing, so I don't have much to say about this topic. However, when you're editing the book, here are some things you should consider fixing:

sticking to one tense. Your book seems like it's set under past tense under the first glimpse and that is honestly fine. We can choose to write with whatever tense we wish but the important part is to stick with that tense and not switch it with present tense. There were some moments in the book where your tense slipped and was converted to present tense. The scenes were minor -- such as when Sammy was being dragged by the two people who'd caused her accident and in the first few parts in the beginning of chapter five, when Sammy was sitting by the pool in chapter six.

b) The second thing I would like for you to work on is your punctuation. Since your book is already under editing, I'm not going to point out the mistakes as you must be already working towards them but there were many areas where you didn't put commas and full stops. The full stops could be overlooked but the commas are pretty important as your dialogues and actions can seem pretty non-contextual without them. Do work on them precisely to make your story more vibrant and well! You can also hire editors for this type of job -- there are plenty of editing shops on wattpad ! :)