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Pixel : Everything Has Changed

Everything Has Changed By alwaysinWRITERSBLOCK
Reviewer: RavingBlack

PLOT

Is there a clear goal/direction?

Yes, I know that the end goal is Silas and Oliver's romantic relationship. Because you have listed your book's genre as YA romance, I will evaluate Everything Has Changed according to a traditional romance plot structure. This means that the goal of the plot is for Silas and Oliver to "get together". You've explained to me that the goal deviates a bit which is fine if you don't want to strictly follow the traditional structure. However, my expectations were that the plot would be tracking the two main lead's romantic relationship which I think is true of all romance plots.

Is the plot connected to the characters?

My definition for a plot being connected to a character is for that character's desires and fears to be tied in the events of the plot. By pursuing the plot, the character will naturally be pursuing their true desire as well. Please see the character section for a definition of "fears and desires".

Fear and desire is important because it provides the context for why readers should be emotionally invested in the plot and what happens to a character. In other words, it's the reason why they should care about anything that happens to this character at all. For example, imagine I told you that a teenage girl's parents abandoned her. Sad, right? But you don't really have a reason to care because you don't know the girl, and an orphan is just an orphan. No one bursts into tears at the sight of an orphan. If anything, orphans make people more uncomfortable than sad.

However, what if I told you that the same girl has always wanted to be close friends with her classmates but is deeply scared that they would abandon her? Then, the death of her parents had a special impact on this girl, specifically, because the people she loved had left her suddenly. Her worst fear had come true and intensified, and now the obstacles to achieve her desire are more insurmountable than ever. Now, you have a more substantial reason to feel sad. This is all a very wordy way to explain that I don't have a reason to care that Oliver's best friend left town without telling him. Why should I care? Give me a reason to care.

I'm aware that you provide the context for why we should care later on, but it only comes after that sad moment. If you don't provide us a reason before you spring that sad event, Silas's anguish can make readers feel locked out of the story, essentially. None of us can participate in the emotions he's feeling, so that means we just feel bored and are waiting for him to get over it. The plot is connected to Silas's desire and fear, but it's critical that you establish that before any emotional scenes, so they can have the desired impact.

I myself have written plenty of characters like Silas, and writing a character in this way makes Silas at best come across as uninteresting and at worst annoying. I say this to you as a writer who's received this feedback before, and I give it to you with the best intentions. I do think some minor changes to how you convey Silas's character would clear up this small flaw.

Is the pacing rushed or dragged out?

The pacing is a bit messy and dragged out. Usually, the inciting incident is supposed to be the moment that the two love interests meet. Oliver is supposed to throw Silas out of his comfort zone—force him to break away from his status quo and embark on a journey of change. To make an inciting incident like this work, you spend some time before the inciting incident crafting a hook. You establish your characters there and show exactly why these two characters will have a unique impact on each other.

You've already shown why Silas and Oliver will have a special impact on each other; Silas has totally given up on any kindness from his hometown and is ready to leave it behind, and Oliver who has nothing but kindness will challenge his belief that everyone Silas will ever meet will disappoint him. However, you give us a reason to care about their first meeting only after they have already met. The inciting incident would be more impactful if you give us these reasons prior to their meeting, so we will have a reason to care about Silas and Oliver meeting each other. Your inciting incident doesn't have to be flashy or super dramatic, but your readers should grasp that it is a significant moment in regards to the plot. They have met, and there is no return to the old world where everyone has always let Silas down because now Oliver is here to challenge that belief. The rest of the plot follows how Silas will deal with this and eventually change himself as a result. As it stands, their first meeting lacks too much significance or impact. Their consecutive meetings are similarly uneventful aside from Oliver rescuing him from bullies and also picking him up from the roadside.