Last summer when we first got send off to Australia I hoped that the distance between me and Connor would do good in out relationship. But as I said before it ruined us. It ruined me.
When I came back after the summer everything changed. My friends wouldn't talk to me and acted like I didn't even exist. The worst thing is that I didn't even know what I actually did wrong.
Connor was mad that I had to leave like real mad. And he took his anger out on me like it was my fault that mom send us away. At first I was grateful that he talked to me unlike my other friends. But the smile lasted on my face only for a day. He became cold at first. And then angry. And then I was no longer his girlfriend but his personal punching bag.
I endured this for weeks with no one to turn to for help, no one to talk to. And Connor didn't get better he was worse.
And one day I decided I had enough. I packed my bags and went to live with my grandma. I also changed my number and blocked him from everywhere.
For months I was alone, completely alone. My daily routine was: Wake up, get homeschooled by my grandma , cry , play scrable with my grandparents , cry some more and sleep. And the weekends I would go and surf for hours at a time alone.
I didn't leave the house. I didn't talk to anyone (except my grandparents and my mom once a week). I was alone. Counting every day until summer would arrive and I could finally be happy.
And that's my story. A rather sad one but that's me.
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And that is why I always admired summer. She didn't give a fuck about anyone. She always changed schools and could find new friends in a matter of seconds and here I am almost a year later still wondering why my friends won't talk to me. It broke me but no one can now. That is why my sister doesn't. She doesn't know why I lived at grandma's she thinks that I was on some exchange program.
But I can't let anyone see that side of me. That broken little girl that run away from her problems all the time. I guess I am kinda different now. So I have to stand up for myself and don't let the sudden reappearance of Connor effect me.mm
