my public journal

im confused lmao

10/30/23

heyyy lovesss 😍

here's the update:

so on saturday (which was three days ago) i decided to text tyler. so basically today (which is a monday) we had an assembly at school at the end of the day. so i decided to text tyler and ask if he wanted to sit with me at the assembly and he said yea. i told him to meet my by the office.

so earlier today i walk down the stairs and i i don't see him then i walk up to my guy friend that's standing off to the side. then he tells me that he saw tyler walk by 🥲. my heart dropped cause i really thought he was going to wait for me lmao.

but when we get to the gym, i meet up with my homie and i sit with him instead. then i see tyler sitting in the row behind me a bit further away. like all my guys friends were sitting with him lmao. and they were all trying to get me to sit next to tyler. but there was no way i was standing up talk all the way just to sit by tyler so i stayed in the spot i got. but throughout the whole assembly, tyler kept looking at me and i kept looking at him too cause he so fine bro.

i actually caught him starring at me it was so cute lol.

but after the assembly and we all went back to our advisory class, i texted tyler and he texted me back so quickly. he said that he got to the assembly way earlier and his teacher wanted him to stay with the class.

and like it probably sounds like he's lying and is trying to avoid me, but i truly believe him.

anyways that's what's been happening recently and like my guy friends are telling me to ask him out but i'm scared, like do they not know how scary asking your crush out is? it's easier to tell your friends to ask out their crush cause you got nothing to worry about. but if you're the one asking your crush out it's scary asf.

and i'm scared tyler's going to loose interest in me and then i'll have to wonder for the rest of my life what we could have been. but at the same time maybe i should just say fuck it and tell him cause like what does it matter? we're humans living on a giant moving rock that's floating in space, so does it really even matter?

i'm honestly so confused on what to do. cause like i know he likes me i'm just nervous to tell him and then like what if he just leaves me before we even date 😭

idk guys i'm just a hugeee overthinker.