𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐘 | callum turner

008, the dress

MESSY
008, THE DRESS

CIVILITY LINGERS IN THE AIR. maybe it's Callum just trying to make this day easier for us to get through or maybe we're finally on the road from recovery. Although I still lack the knowledge of what exactly we're meant to be recovering from.

We stay in the water in a state of reminiscence, talking about stories of the past, and laughing whenever the New Year's party of 2018 is brought up. We stay until our skin begins to prune and the parts of our body that sit above the surface level begin to tint red. We talk like friends do and I don't hesitate to take the hand he offers to help me out or when he wraps my towel over my shoulders. It feels normal, not what our normal used to be but it's close enough.

The town is beautiful, and I fully enjoy it at the slow pace me and Callum walk after leaving the beach. It's not awkward when I make him take photos by little photo ops that I would have posted to my Instagram story in a heartbeat but now don't feel I can. Without drawing more attention to our wounds and without pissing off the boyfriend that I haven't spoken to in a few days.

" come on!" I say, moving to centre the man in my camera who I can tell is staring me down behind his sunglasses glasses "One more picture!"

He scoffs " Olly, you said that about thirty pictures ago!" he laughs that beautiful laugh of his. His lips spread so far apart I can see his toothy smile. The sweeping feeling of butterflies hits my stomach and it's a feeling that exits as swiftly as it arrived.

And I smile back, simultaneously lifting the phone to my eye line and snapping one more ( well ten) and then putting my phone away in my bag.

My now phone free hands lift in the air as some kind of mocking surrender as I shake my head

"I'm done now, pinky promise." I tell him and he makes this sound that shows me that he isn't fully convinced. Moving closer to me as we stand in the middle of the street — having to lift up my head to look at him, eyes squinting due to the velocity of the sun.

He exhales, a soft smile still curved into his lips "what do you want to do next?" he says and my eyebrows furrow and lips curve into a soft smile.

Head can't help but tilt slightly "are you telling me you're not bored of my company yet?" I ask and he exhales.

" what do you mean?" he asks, and I feel my shoulders lift into a shrug.

" we've definitely met the low expectations our managers held out for us, we could just go back to the house — you could go back to ignoring me and I'll go back to wondering what I've done." I tell him and watch the smile fall off of his face.

" olly-" he says and I exhale, turning my head. Looking at anywhere but him and this proximity that separates us. Both physically and mentally.

my heart hurts. But I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt, that he hasn't hurt me. But then again I'll prolong that feeling reaching the surface for as long as a humanly possible.

My eyes scan around the area, noticing one thing in particular that takes grasp of my attention.

" oh my god." I say, taking Callum's hand in mine and beginning to pull him to follow me. An action I do subconsciously but think I'd make this more difficult if I immediately dropped the hand after I realised what I'd done.

It's a small clothing shop, a piece of driftwood with the sign painted on in a light blue. But my eyes are immediately drawn to one thing, a dress stuck in amongst the others yet it's the only one I believe is worth noticing.

my fingers toy to find the correct hanger as I pull it off, my love for this single piece of material is growing stronger every second I let my eyes hold contact with it.