𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐞 - Chris Sturniolo

𝟭𝟲

★｡+ﾟ☆ Chris ☆ﾟ+｡★

Silence fell between us. She leaned against the wall by her bed and I sat upright opposite her at the end of the bed.

It made me nervous waiting for her to speak. I just looked at her but she looked at her feet like she was crazy. And that worried me, had it been so bad that she couldn't even look at me?

I had kissed her, I had taken the first step. I don't know what had gotten into me. She had played me this piece and I thought it was beautiful and she acted like I was exaggerating when I called it beautiful.

Then she wanted to walk past me and I stood in her way. Then suddenly she was so close to me and she didn't look at me. Then I took her chin and at that moment I thought it was now or never.

The next moment my lips were on hers and for a moment I thought she wouldn't return it but then she pressed her lips gently against mine. But I pulled away from her because I thought she might just do it because she hated to disappoint others.

Then we looked at each other, I looked deep into her eyes to find out what she was feeling. But there was no disgust or dislike. And the next moment she pulled me towards her again and I had never been so surprised.

I thought she didn't like me, at least not like this. But she had returned my kiss, much more confidently than the first. And it felt like we were made for each other.

I couldn't believe that was her first kiss, it was far too good for that. And I had told her that it was the best kiss I had ever had and it was true. Not even with Dora had it felt this good.

Well, and now we were sitting here, silently on her bed. She was avoiding my gaze and I was just waiting for her to say something. But nothing came. She said she wouldn't regret it, but I think she was lying. She said she was just confused.

"Maybe we should pretend it didn't happen." I suddenly said. And then it finally happened, she looked at me. "Is that what you want?" she asked somehow...sadly? No, I didn't want to pretend it never happened, I can't anyway.

"Oh no. I just mean, if I have to pretend it didn't happen in order to spend time with you and learn, then I'll do it, but I don't want to."

She sighed and looked out of the window. "And you? What do you want?" I asked her.
"I don't know what I want." She said, but I knew she was lying, she was a person who always knew what she wanted.

"How can you not know if you like me or not?" I asked directly, I didn't want to play this game anymore, I'd had enough.

"Because you confuse me and I'm confused. And if I really liked you, I could never be with you with a clear conscience." She said and now she was confusing me.

"Maybe if you'd just say what it is, then I could work on it." I said, annoyed. But she didn't respond, she just looked out of the window.

Then it became quiet again. And I regretted my words, maybe I shouldn't be so mean. After all, I had just said to her that she should take her time.

"I think I should drive you home so that we can both think about the incident in peace." She stood up and looked for her conclusions.

I laughed sourly and grabbed my backpack and got up from the bed. "You're talking about the kiss like it was an accident." I said and ran after her as she ran into the hallway.

"Maybe it was one." She said and no words in the world could describe how much those words hurt me. I stopped for a moment and waited for her to look at me but she just kept walking and I followed her for a few seconds.