I am still here.
It has been over a year since I updated NHL, but I think about this story every day, and I want so badly to tell you what's coming next.
No Harm List is a comforting story in a world I created during the lockdown era of college. I poured so much of myself and my life into the characters, especially in Ella. However, my life has drastically changed since I started writing years ago.
I have my dream job, I'm married, and I have traveled all over the world. I have gifted myself with the adulthood I dreamed of in childhood, which is such a blessing. And then my health took a turn for the worse, work got harder, life got real-er. Writing lost its comfort and became a chore.
I'm still living a happy life. However, I no longer identify with the anxious and suffering student I was when I started Ella's story. There are parts of her character I now struggle to relate to. Some parts of the story were written as an escape from darker periods of life, and I have a hard time looking back on them.
That being said, I'm not done with it yet. I love these characters dearly and feel haunted by how I've left the story unfinished. My struggle to overcome writer's block has made me so insecure in my writing I've scrapped nearly everything I've written these past two years and nearly deleted NHL to start over earlier this year. But I continuously see people's love and support in the comments, and I am over holding back because I'm scared.
This is all to say I'm still here. I'm still writing.
The story lingers with me like I hope it does with you. And I'm sorry it's taken so long to come back.
I hope you're all doing well, enjoying other beautiful stories, and making the most of each day in the meantime.
YOU ARE READING
No Harm List | BTS Mafia AU
FanfictionThe Bangtan family believes in life debts, it was one of the few traditions that they value enough to maintain and honor. If someone were to save a member's life, that person, no matter their class or status, was added to the 'No Harm List.' A very...
