You Don't Know What It's Like (Kellic)

Chapter 3

A violent shaking jerked me from a dreamless sleep. I groaned and turned over. Light flooded the room through open blinds.

"Kellin, your mother is here. Says she needs to talk with you." Vic said, crawling to the side of the bed I wasn't occupying.

Again, I groaned. This is the last thing I want to talk about. "Do I have to?"

"Ma says you don't have to unless you want to." He said.

Should I put this off? That's just stalling. I can't run from my problems forever. As much as I'd love to, that's not how life works. Quite sadly may I add.

"Whatever. I'll have to eventually, so lets just get this over with." I said, rolling to the edge and leaning up. There was no need to change. I never changed into pajamas last night anyways. Then again, maybe I should wear clothes that I didn't wear to school plus run half a mile in.

"You need a change of clothes?" Vic asked.

I smiled, more so to myself. "You read my mind."

He left the room as I pulled my shirt off. There was no where to put it, seeing as I left my bag at home, so I folded it and sat it on his bean bag. It didn't take but a few seconds for me to get fully changed. I ran my fingers through my hair, giving up at my failed attempt.

Am I ready to do this? It's been a few years since I've even seen my father. It's been hell not having him here. And honestly, I've missed him. Sometimes I wonder if he even cares. Or if he even misses us.

I swallowed my pride, and forced my way downstairs.

The living room contained my mother, my dead beat father, Mama Fuentes, Papa Fuentes, and Vic. Apparently Mike, Vic's younger brother, still isn't awake. I don't say I blame him. I wouldn't be either.

The sight of my dad enraged yet saddened me at the same time. He went MIA for a while. He doesn't deserve my mother. If he did, he wouldn't have left her for his bottles and mistress.

I took a seat next to Vic. He squeezed my knee in reassurance. I exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding. It's nice having such a good friend standing by your side.

"Kellin," My mother began. "It's time to act like the mature adult you've grown into."

Personally, I don't think it's me who needs the maturity talk.

"We'll give you some privacy, if that's okay with you, Kellin." Mama Fuentes said. She had a pained look in her eye. She knows what I've been through.

"That's fine." I spoke quietly. Words didn't want to form themselves.

Vic and his parents left the room. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"Your dad has come a long way for us." She immediately began defending him. "He's apologized to me sincerely. Now he's here for your understanding."

"I don't want his apology." I muttered.

She sighed and frowned at me. "Kellin please,"

"Please nothing!" I shouted.

My father stood and wrapped his arms around my mom. "Be mature with this, and I'll return the favor."

"Maturity left the building around the time you did." I spat with venom. Year after year I planned out what I'd say if I ever saw my father again. Those speeches were quickly discarded.

"And this is why I'm here." He said.

I laughed mockingly. "I hope you know I blamed myself." I said. He looked at me with a confused expression.

I did. For years after he left, I wondered if it was me.

"It's been Hell not having you here. I've been missing you so bad, and you don't seem to care. You've never been there for us. When I went to sleep at night, you were never there. Did you even miss us?" I rose my voice with every sentence.

"That's the past. Lets do exactly that, and put it where it belongs." He spoke quietly.

"I blamed myself! I always wondered if it was something I did, or something I said. Tell me, why did you walk away?" I stood, clenching my fists at my side.

Everything started spewing from the seams I had duck taped and sewn shut. By now I was falling apart. To be honest, I don't even care anymore.

"I'm sorry." He said, almost regretfully.

"Sorry doesn't even begin to fix what you did to us." I spoke with so much hatred, it nearly scared me.

I tried to deal with the pain. I didn't understand it. Any of it. I still don't, to be honest.

I passed them, running out the door and into the front yard. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't care honestly. As long as it's away.