You Don't Know What It's Like (Kellic)

Chapter 4

Vic's P.O.V

Self destruction is an addiction. The endorphin rush will leave you on cloud nine for a half hour, maximum. What most people don't understand is that that half hour of our so called 'high', is a hell of a lot better than whatever we're dealing with to put those scars on ourselves in the first place.

Currently, I'm crashing back into reality slowly. Pieces are falling into place and I'm feeling guilty. More so than when I started. But I was left with one of two choices: put the razor away and crave it till I actually snap; or cave and feel guilty because I did.

I grasped the edge of the porcelain white sink, and pulled myself up. My head- no, the room was spinning uncontrollably. My arms tingled and I felt like I was running on autopilot.

The beautiful white bleached surface isn't going to be so white in a minute. I turned the cool metal knob, letting warm water flow down the drain.

It's half past four, or so says my clock. I hate waking up like this. Well, I didn't technically sleep. I sat awake while Kellin dozed off. My thoughts were eating me alive and I finally caved.

I held my arm under the water and scrubbed the partially dry blood off. It's a hassle when dry. But I like to watch it bleed. Sadistic, I know.

The pool of water turned a shade of pink. I turned it off and let it drain away.

My bracelets sat on the counter. I wouldn't put them on tonight. Plus I've heard you can get an infection from keeping them covered or trapping germs in the area.

Kind of weird. I have a peculiar tendency to self destruct but I'm worried about infection. I guess there are better ways to go than blood poisoning.

Still in my own world, I pulled my sleeve over my newly created wounds and made my way towards my room. I shut the door quietly and fell onto the bottom bunk.

There was a groan before arms snaked over my waist. I froze, until it clicked that Kellin has been here for a while. I should be used to his presence by now.

"Vic?" His voice was raspy, probably an effect of drowsiness.

I shifted till I was facing him, and pulled him closer to my body. "Go to sleep."

He nodded and buried his face in my chest. Kellin and I are closer than friends tend to. I don't think that bothers me.

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SHORT ASF but It's important