The Guy on the Chiefs

9. Not Tonight

The next morning, Taylor made it abundantly clear to hear team that she had no plans of putting on the show tonight. 

She needed time to grieve, her dancers and crew needed time to recover, Mother Nature needed to cool off, and the stadium needed to get every possible precaution in place before she would even consider stepping foot back on that stage. She would do everything in her power to keep her people safe, blaming herself for not being able to do so the night before.

Through the day, Tree and her team made several calls and took meetings, trying their best to have the shows cancelled, or at the very least postponed. 

Tree came into the room, knocking quietly as she saw Taylor slowly pacing the room back and forth. 

"Taylor..."

Taylor knew this tone. She had worked with Tree for long enough to know when bad news was coming, even through Tree's expertise and professionalism. 

"We can't get out of it, Taylor. The contract is solid and the stadium is already threatening to sue if we try to cancel tonight or tomorrow."

"I don't fucking care!" Taylor yelled, knowing her anger is misplaced at Tree but needing the world to hear the injustice. She would not put her fans or crew in danger just so she could sing her songs. This is not how things are supposed to be. 

"I know. I am still working on it. I am doing everything I can. In the meantime, we need to get ready to head to the stadium. As of right now, you go on at 9:30pm." 

Taylor collapsed on the bed, feeling defeated and scared for what was to come. Truly the last thing she wanted to do was get back on that stage knowing nothing had changed. She was barely able to speak, she certainly would not be able to address Ana's passing. She couldn't even think about the night prior without her eyes flooding with tears. 

"They better fucking do everything they can to make that place safe tonight. I don't care how much it costs them, my fans will be safe. They will have water, fans, whatever the fuck they need. I am not losing anyone else" Taylor said with a sob escaping her lips. 

Scott had heard the conversation and made his way into the room to sit next to Taylor, holding his daughter close as she spoke to Tree. Seeing her like this devastated him, he hated that this pain wasn't something he could protect her from. He too, had been doing everything he could to make sure precautions were taken, especially to protect her. 

He knew she hadn't eaten since lunchtime the day before, he hadn't seen her have any water, and she hadn't showered since the show. She was in no position to perform again, if anything it would be more dangerous for her tonight due to her current state. 

"Have you talked to Travis today?" Scott asked gently as Taylor calmed down. 

She hadn't. Since she had fallen asleep on the phone with him last night, she hasn't responded to any of his texts. She knew he was worried but she also knew that talking to him would break her more, she was vulnerable with him and right now, she needed to be anything but that. Besides, she didn't have any of the words to say and there was nothing either of them could do to get him here.

Hours later, they made their way to the venue, Taylor entered her dressing room quietly, everyone around her respecting the somber tone in the air. Despite hours of work, no final decision had been made, and in order to comply with her contract, Taylor was due at the stadium at the very least. 

"Okay, I have some news. " Tree said as she came into the room. "You're not going to like it."

"Tell me." Taylor said with baited breath. 

"We can postpone tonight. But the show tomorrow has to happen. And tonight will be postponed to Monday..."

Monday. The day she and Travis had been looking forward to for so many weeks. The night they were finally supposed to be reunited and he would meet her parents. Fucking Monday. 

"Do it." Taylor said. As much as she hated it, she knew it was the only option. She had a job to do and she would not let her crew or fans down now. She immediately grabbed her things and walked back to her car, wanting nothing else than to return to her hotel room and sleep until she had to do this all again tomorrow. 

She knew she had to call him. Travis had been, very respectfully, blowing up her phone with little reminders that he loved her and was there is she wanted to talk or just sit. 

He had even reached out to Scott earlier in the day after hours of no response, he just needed to know that she was okay. At the very least, he needed to hear from someone who had seen her recently. 

Scott's update only made him worry more, he could hear the concern in her Dad's voice as he spoke about her night and the news that she could not cancel. He was able to take solace in the fact that security and the police presence had been increased at the very least keeping her physical self protected. 

Taylor knew she had to call him but she didn't even know what to say. She didn't want to share any more bad news, she didn't want to have to tell him how she was really doing. She just didn't want to do anything but block out the world under the covers and process in her own way. 

Reluctantly, once back in the hotel room, she clicked on his name. He answered immediately. 

"Hi Trav" she said quietly as she sat down on her bed.

"Hi, baby girl" Travis breathed in relief at hearing her voice, "I've been so worried about you."

"I know. I'm sorry" Taylor said as tears started to silently fall down her face. 

"Don't be sorry, you don't owe anyone an apology. Talk to me, what's going on down there? Is there a plan?" Travis was also terrified about Taylor returning to the stage that night, he knew she was in no place to exert that kind of energy, emotionally or physically. 

Taylor gave him the same update she had received from Tree. He was clearly disappointed but understood completely. He knew what it meant to meet the demands of your job and having the requirements be out of your control. He tried to hide his feelings as he reminded her, and himself, that there will be plenty more games for her to come watch. 

It was far less easy to hide his disappointment when he realized that also meant she would not be returning home before her next weekend of shows in Brazil. No game, no Thanksgiving, no time together for another week. 

That part killed him. All either of them wanted or needed in this moment was each other. Travis needed to wrap his arms around Taylor to know she was okay, to keep her safe and not let her be alone with these feelings. 

"It just doesn't make sense to come all that way for two days" Taylor said more bluntly and apathetically than he was used to. 

"Yeah, no. I know." Travis said. "It's too much on you anyway, you need to rest to get through the last weekend."

"Tay, talk to me. Please. Not about the show, not about our schedules. Talk to me. How are you doing? How are you feeling?" Travis all but begged of her. She was shutting down in front of him, he could feel it and see it. 

FUCKING AWFUL, she wanted to scream. Nothing is okay and there is nothing anyone can do about it. She was so conscious of not being a burden to him, knowing he had a big game coming up and would just worry about her if she shared her real thoughts. She couldn't get into it now, there was nothing she could say to make this feeling stop.

"I don't have anything to say, I just...I think I just need to sleep."

Taylor ended their call shortly after, not feeling the energy or desire to continue talking about things out of their control. She was exhausted and burnt out. He was terrified.