I've never been a fan of movies. Forced to sit and watch something, confined to a seat and endure too loud of sound mixing. Why would I want to pay for that when there are plenty of movies in my head?
Back to back feature length films of words from friends claiming whatever bs hit the trends of the day to past partners turning themselves into weapons against "their person". Words whispered, but not in the way of pleasure but persecution. Laugh tracks pile on top of tears since the audience always knew best. The ending always seemed to be known by everyone. Except for me.
Now I am attempting to get back to the movies. Romance, comedy, feats of courage and moments of grief. Yet every time I have started up the film those reruns take way. There was a comfort to those films, I will admit. If the movie starts over there is a chance things could be different. Because I now know what's to come.
But the only way to change the movie at this point is to go back to the drawing board. New music. New scene. New me. For I accept that I have the power to hit stop, adjust, and start the shot again. No one will write my movie for me again.
