Anxious thoughts running hot seeking veins looking for a shot of adrenaline or hope or something to calm whatever building monster keeps popping up.
Please anxiety give me a break after 30 years of trying to make sense of whatever wrongdoings I have done that we're not even mine to start.
Saying I'm frustrated but really I'm fatigued at all the times trying to understand and make sense of thoughts when I have all the knowledge to make it stop.
Or maybe panic fits better because I should know better, a demand and expectation that is pushed by others and myself. A hazard of trying to make sense of it all.
Demands are threats because what does it mean when I can't seem to find a way to remove fear from the brain, am I broken or just inept, can the venomous imposter repent?
Anxiety is being held down when the weight is too much on your forearms to scratch up for safety and wires are lining your skin to try and break free.
Somehow this frequent visitor doesn't ever get the memo, and while the urges for protecting oneself is placed firmly in the forefront there is nothing there to harm.
Anxiety is an alarm bell protecting from harm and alerting when it comes. Sometimes I wonder where the wiring got misplaced, so continued tinkering and soothing remains.
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PoetryA collection of poetry across ages, moments, and confusion. Tw - read at own desire
