The Beginning

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Felix's POV

"I am sorry..." "Why? Don't cry... You did not do anything wrong..."

I was crying my heart out in Hyunjin's arms. He had tears in his eyes too, as he was holding me tenderly rubbing my back, trying to console me. I couldn't believe I screwed up the chance to debut with them.

"Felix is like a child. He needs to be taken care of. He has such a warm heart. To the point I feel so sorry. That is the kind of friend he is." His sweet words warmed my heart. It was a small consolation for my failure but I welcomed it. And then, I was given another chance. Oh, the joy when I came back! Oh, how he smiled at me...

I will never forget this moment, ever, Hyunjin-ah... even though you subtly stayed on the sidelines, focusing more on Minho-hyung.

I worked hard, we all did. It was my last chance and I had to succeed, not only to fulfill my dream but also to be close to you. I was so drawn to you. And after our debut, I became even more fascinated by you. I found myself interested in every little thing you did. I wanted to spend more time with you. I wanted you to spend more time with me. I was amazed by your hard work, your day to day improvement, your talent, your sweetness, your beauty. And you never lost an opportunity to praise me as well. You were always so kind. Did you feel something for me back then, Hyunjin-ah? Or was it just me, at first?

Back Home

After the release of our first album, we had a lot of promotions and stuff to do. No personal time, little to no rest. So, a little break was more than welcome. We were allowed to visit our families, after almost two years. Chris and I took the flight to Sydney. I introduced him to my parents. They liked him immediately and my mother named him my guardian angel. A role he had already taken on himself, since we first met.

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I was at Stella's. We were in her room as usual, we were cuddling on her bed.

"How do you feel?" "I feel great. You?" "I don't mean now you silly!" She smacked my naked back. Yeah, we had sex, again. I didn't realize that I've missed this part of human interactions but now I was blissfully relaxed in her embrace. I mean, my band mates know I am a cuddle bug but this is different, intimate and I am sharing it with a very special person in my life. Although someone came uninvited into my thoughts. I had never thought of him that way until now...

"FELIX!" Stella shouted in my ear pulling me out of my thoughts. "Yes?" "What are you thinking about?" "Nothing..." "Hmmph!" She huffed in annoyance. "I know that look. C'mon, spill!" "What about?" "Anything that the cameras did not show." "There is nothing more..." "Felix! Why do I have the feeling you are hiding something? Did you find someone in Korea? Is there someone you like?" "I... well..." I stared at her reluctantly. "Come on! I tell you everything!" "DON'T smack me again! Geez! I'll tell you." She looked at me with excitement written all over her face. "Well?" "There is this boy in my band..." "Oooh! He is your band mate? Is it Chris? He is handsome and Australian!" I blinked in confusion. "No, it is not Chris. He is not even my type." Stella rolled her eyes. "The strong silent handsome one is not your type? He is everyone's type!" "Would you like me to fix you up since you find him so attractive?" "Don't change the subject Yongbok! Is it that guy with the chubby cheeks? The one you call your twin? The one who raps and writes songs?" "Who? No... Let it go, it doesn't matter, I don't think he sees me that way." "Then he is blind." We were silent for a moment. "It's Hyunjin." Somehow saying it out loud made it real even for me. "Who is he...Ah! The tall one!" Stella had dreamy eyes all of the sudden. "He is gorgeous!" "I thought you liked Chris." I said indignantly. I can find more than one person pretty, thank you very much!" We side eyed each other. "Anyway, she went on, does he... um, what does he... erm..." "He is very sweet and caring but he is very shy at times. He is an introvert, quite the opposite from me." I concluded making a sad face. "Are you going to do something about your little crush?" "No... Besides, we aren't supposed to date, let alone our own band mates." "That's sad." "Yeah..." She hugged me tightly. "Tough luck, baby."

I went back to Seoul feeling depressed at the realization that I stood no chance with him.

But, again we had our work cut out for us: Our first comeback, photoshoots, interviews. There was no time for teenage angst.

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